Saturday, May 19, 2007

Consider It Pure Joy

"Consider it pure joy . . . whenever you face trials of many kinds . . . " James 1:2

I'm trying. But failing.

This morning has been a trying time for me with my boys. Yesterday they had the day off from school. Today and tomorrow are their normal days off. And then Monday is a holiday. Normally I anticipate these long weekends with them, but for some reason I'm really struggling to be the best mom I can be right now. My patience level seems to be at an all-time low, and I apparently have little tolerance for mess at the moment. It seems that everywhere I turn, a mess surrounds me. And I just cleaned my house a couple of days ago. My thoughts of trying to maintain order were dismissed early this morning.

Yesterday our quad and riding mower/tiller/snow blower machine both broke down. We just bought the mower a week ago (used) and it's already giving us grief. It seems like we've been continually tested since we've moved to the acreage. First, our car broke down and required a new engine; next, our computer crashed and took a month to repair; then our sewage system gave us problems and we had to replace the pump and have been advised that we also require a whole new septic tank; we were denied the insurance claim for flooring in our basement due to the sewage backup, but we still have to remove the carpet and put in new flooring due to the damage; our dog required surgery to remove porcupine quills; and our quad and garden tractor have just broken down.

What this all adds up to is a lot of stress. Not to mention expenses that exceed our income. Sound familiar to any of you? I know I need to trust God to work this all out. He always does. But it's hard when you're in the midst of it and it seems like there's no way out.

I think my frustrations with the boys actually stem from the fact that I'm stressing out inside (about the broken down machinery, mostly), and it's playing itself out in the way I'm relating to them (and Wayne too). I'm praying for a peace that only God can bring me.

Paul wrote in Romans 7:15: "I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate." That verse pretty much sums up the way I'm feeling about myself today.


Carol said...

Leighton always tells me (when I feel like my world is falling apart) that things are not as bad as they feel right now, and that everything will be ok and that I will be ok. It doesn't necessarily change how I'm feeling, but hearing it always helps. Take care. I'll be praying for you.

Amy said...

Kimmy, I, too, am struggling right now. I notice I tend to gripe about the kids when other things (usually financial) are going on. Around here it seems like the harder we work the more bad things are happening to us. Satan is really attacking my family I do believe. And sadly, some days he is winning.

Let's pray for each other and know that we aren't alone in our struggles. Take care friend.

Kimmy said...

Thank you for the encouragement, ladies. It's always good to know that others struggle with the same things I am. Not that I wish these struggles on anyone . . . they are just a part of life. I'll be praying for you too as you probably have days a lot like mine as well.

Dari-Lynn said...

I hope things start working out for your family Kim...I know how it feels to get through one thing, and then something else happens, etc.

Amy said...

Hello! I just wanted to stop by today and see how you were doing. I've been thinking about you while I am struggling too. As I was facing a certain situation this weekend I was wondering if you were having a good time right at that moment or were you in the same boat I was in! Hopefully things are going better.

I'm stressing today trying to get ready for my daughter's graduation open house! Take care.

Beba said...

Interesting you in Canada me in Serbia having same doubts :). Lately i didn't have much tolerance with my daughter. We live in mess every single day, but as you said, it isn't about mess, but, about the things that pressure me inside my self... I will pray for you guys and you? You hold on there... This is a period that we will both learn something out of it!

Amy said...

Hi Kimmy, just wanted to stop by today and let you know I was still thinking and praying for you.

Looking forward to your next post. I haven't actually finished my email to you, but I really have enjoyed you RAD series. I've learned so much from it.

I guess I better hush and finish working on graduation stuff! Miss you.