Re-Living the Horror

Maybe my title is a bit dramatic. But what I went through this morning was anything but comfortable.

Service Canada called me to discuss my job previous-to-my-last job, which was working in an accounting office. As you may recall, I resigned from my position for reasons of feeling like I was in an emotionally downward spiral and quit before my job took any more from me than it already had. I won't go into all of the details, but let's just say that I don't think I was a good fit for the position and as a result, my self-esteem took a turn for the worse, causing the rest of my life to appear to be falling apart around me.

In order for me to receive unemployment insurance funds, I require the hours worked at this particular job. However, due to the fact that I quit, my reasons and motivation for quitting are now under a microscope. I was interviewed via the phone today and had to tell them my side of the story as to what my work environment was like. Following this phone call, the government employee will be contacting my former employer to hear their side of the story. But in all honesty, most of what I gave as specific examples of when I believe I was treated unfairly will likely not be recalled by my previous employer. I do not wish harm upon my previous employer, and I certainly do not want to get them in trouble with the government; but when I filled out my application form for insurance, I had to state a reason (from the categories they provided me with to choose from), and it basically came down to my leaving due to stress at work.

Looking back on this now, and from what the government agent told me on the phone this morning, I should have sought a doctor's approval/advisement to quit this job if I had any hope of claiming these hours. My only hope is that my previous employer indicates to the government that I was not skilled or trained in the areas they required me to be. This is true, but I'm not counting on my claim being approved.

I have found this whole process very frustrating. It has been a slow, grueling process, and today was the worst day of my summer. As I shared my experience on the phone with the agent, I was near sobbing because all of the memories of my job came back to haunt me. I have tried to put those thoughts out of my mind for the remainder of my day up until now, but it's hard to completely erase the pain.

I realize I did not elude to (on my blog) my negative work experience that much while I was working there; however, at the time I was just trying to stay positive and focused. But by the end of February my wall of defense came crashing down and that's when I quit.

Now I must wait (again) on pins and needles as this agent determines my fate. From what she told me earlier today, I shouldn't expect this to be approved. But, by some miracle, I believe it still might be. I have a faint, very faint, glimmer of hope that this is all going to resolve itself.

But, only time will tell.