Friday, March 7, 2008

Old Yeller

I'm giving myself a new nickname. Old Yeller. I dislike yelling. And I really dislike being the person doing the yelling even more.

Mitchell came home yesterday with four homework assignments. The comment from the teacher in his communicator was, "Not a great day of focusing."
You think?

He has been doing so well up to this point. I mean, since the meeting with his teacher nearly a month ago, this is the first day he's brought homework with him after school. For him, that's impressive. But I could tell from the minute he walked in the door that things had not gone well at school. He began to yell at me and, as much as I don't want to admit it, he and I ended up in one big yelling match.

After he realized that the implications of his bringing homework home due to lack of focusing during his day at school were actually going to result in some consequences (no computer time if he brings homework), he had an almost immediate change in attitude and got his four assignments done with little or no help from me whatsoever. Good, I thought. Now at least the yelling for the day will be over.

That was yesterday. This morning was a completely different story. Yelling. Yelling. And more Yelling.

Today I tried to keep my cool. But I know for a fact that my son left our home this morning frustrated by
something. Probably me. And I feel horrible, because I know from previous experience with my stepson that tension at home before entering school doesn't shut itself off just because a person has entered the school. In fact, school can make it escalate.

Now that I've revealed a part of me that is so horrible as a mother, I hope it has given at least one person out there something to relate to. I used to think that I was the only mother that yelled--until I joined a parenting group at my church several years ago, and discovered that people whom I thought never in a million years would yell at their kids,
do actually yell at their kids. I guess I'm human.

I'm praying LOTS for Mitchell today. And I'm seeking lots of forgiveness for myself.

AFTER-SCHOOL UPDATE: Mitchell's teacher reported that he had a GOOD DAY! Yippee! I'm so happy for him. The yelling has stopped. I'm so glad. I love my son.

1 comment:

Kimmie said...

Hi Kimmy;

Yup, I have 6 kids and I have been known to yell. Honestly, I don't know why I resort to this, as it doesn't help, doesn't solve anything and it definitely doesn't make me (or them) feel better. I do think it makes me think that I have control...but honestly yelling isn't control, but show the lack thereof. Hmm, so much I have to learn still on my journey!

hugs to you my friend;
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted