A couple of months ago I was really struggling to "hear" God's voice. It was frustrating, to say the least. I asked Him to make His plan more obvious to me, and, well, He's answering that prayer. Slowly, but surely, He's answering.
It all started with my own actions, prompted by circumstances, which ultimately were directed by Him. Had I not listened and obeyed what I believed to be God's guiding hand in my life, I'm not sure how I'd be coping right now. For the last week and a bit, I've been resting in the safety and comfort of my Heavenly Father's arms. He is restoring me. He is nurturing me. He is preparing me for the plans He has for me.
I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt like this spiritually. January and February were tough months for me in regards to my spiritual life. In retrospect, I can now see that I was in a bit of a tug-of-war with God. He was pulling me in one way (His way), but I was fighting to go my own way. While I wanted to "win" the battle, He wanted victory more. It took a while. But once I gave in (after I crashed and burned), He was there to pick me up.
For the first time in a long time, I'm excited about the "unknowns" of the future. Normally I become anxious over all of the unknowns. But I think I've finally come to a place where my trust in God has reached the next level. I'm so thankful for that, because even though I resigned from a job that was weighing me down, our financial obligations continue to exist. Faced with similar circumstances two months ago, I would have been freaking out over the bills piling up. But today as I face this mountain of responsibilities, I'm reminded of a song that my country-church choir used to sing . . . Bigger Than Any Mountain. This has been "playing" over and over in my mind the past couple of days: "Bigger than any mountain, bigger than anything; He's bigger than all my problems, bigger than all my fears; God is bigger than any mountain that I can or cannot see. Oh, yes, He's bigger than all my question, bigger than anything; God is bigger than any mountain that I can or cannot see. . ." (Gaither band)
Lately I've also been reminded of one of my favorite verses in the Bible, Jeremiah 29:11, which says: "I know the plans I have for you . . .plans to give you a hope and a future." God is in my tomorrows. He didn't promise an easy road . . . but whatever road He leads me down, it will all be worth it in the end.