Friday, November 16, 2007

I Promise

Lately I've been posting a lot about my son, Mitchell. It's because he's on my heart and mind constantly. Right now I ache when I am away from him, because I feel that if I'm not there to "protect" him from all the wrong in the world, that he's just going to get hurt over and over again. And I won't be there to help pick up the pieces.

Upon his arrival home from school today, Mitchell informed me that he really liked having an in-school suspension. Why? Because he was in a classroom all by himself, all day long, with no distractions or interruptions. He got all his work done, plus some extra!

Yesterday when I talked with the Principal about the in-school suspension, I was under the impression that all this meant was missing out on the ability to play outside at recess. Well, it went beyond that. Basically what it meant was isolation from other students, all day long. He didn't get to have recess, eat lunch with his friends or have gym class today.

After hearing about his day, I felt like sobbing. But he didn't mind his day. I don't know . . . maybe this is just what he needed . . . some time to himself.

Ty informed me that on the way home from school today there were lots of extra kids on the bus . . . kids that were attending the birthday party of one of the boys in Mitchell's class, whose Grandpa happens to be the boys' bus driver. However, Mitchell was not invited to this party. Every other boy in his class, plus the boys in the grade 4 class were invited.

My heart is breaking right now.

As a child, I have memories of being rejected and severely hurt because of incidences just like this, where I felt left out when I didn't get invited to certain activities. BUT Mitchell told me that he was glad he didn't get invited to the party because he just wanted to be at home with me. That may sound sweet, and in a way it is, but I don't think it's normal. Not that I want my son to cry every time he isn't invited to a party . . . it's just that he hasn't been invited to one single birthday party since we moved here almost a year ago. I'm getting the feeling that perhaps he's not fitting in with the boys in his age range. I know the girls really like him, there's no doubt about that. But he doesn't have a really close male friend, aside from his younger brother.

To me my concerns are legitimate. To my husband, they aren't as much. He relates to Mitchell in the sense that he experienced the same thing growing up, and he didn't care. Mitchell says he doesn't care that he wasn't invited to this party . . . Wayne says he didn't care if he didn't get invited to parties either. Maybe I'm way out to lunch on this, but this just doesn't seem right. Is this a "boy" thing that I'm just not able to understand?

Of course, I don't want to make a bigger deal about this (to Mitchell) than it is. I have a tendency to dwell on things from an emotional standpoint, and this is a perfect example of that. I'm not going to bring this up with Mitchell again tomorrow. What good would that be? But part of me is thinking that maybe his struggles in the past few weeks have been due to this particular issue: feeling like he doesn't fit in or belong. Just a thought.

Okay, so my promise is that I will quit posting so much about my son and just let him live the life of an eight-year old. There are so many other things I could write about . . . it's just that right now MITCHELL has been my heart's focus, and that's usually what I tend to write about . . . what's on my heart.


Becky said...

If he's on your heart then I'm happy to hear about him. (Plus, I'm halfway in love with him without meeting him. Your descriptions and the pictures of him just melt my heart.)

Becky said...

Also, what kind of parent lets their kid invite every child but one? I would never let my boys do that. I don't get it.

Kristy said...

This is heartbreaking - and I agree with Becky, I don't understand some parents today.....
Perhaps, in his little sweet boy heart, he truly doesn't care - and him being content with being at home is fine. God created him and his little personality! I have one that's totally fine with staying at home, we have to force him out the door! He has the most kind and caring heart, I'm realizing that instead of my worrying (which I still do at times) about his social status, it's been more beautiful watching what God is doing in this young man while growing up. Don't know if I made sense or not, but bottom line here Kimmy, I think you and Wayne are doing a fantastic job in this young mans life!
**sigh** No one ever said parenting was easy, huh? It would be nice if it was !!!!!!!!!
**big hugs from Oregon sweet friend***

Carol said...

Just a thought...It sounds like Mitchell is confident enough in himself that he doesn't feel the need to 'fit in'. Maybe he doesn't have the same insecurity issues that others have. And THAT is a huge gift from God.

Carol said...

One more thought...I find it interesting that Mitchell preferred being by himself and that he finds the classroom setting so distracting. What makes it difficult for him in a classroom and how can learning be made easier for him?