I hate to admit that, but it's the only conclusion I can come up with.
Everyday I wake up with an agenda ingrained in my mind. And I measure the success of my day based on whether or not I've accomplished everything on my agenda. I wish I weren't this way. But I am. I wish I could be free of guilt on the days when I don't accomplish everything on my agenda. But I'm not. And I am feeling very guilty about wasting away my day yesterday, with nothing to show for it but a full stomach due to all the food and drink I consumed while I was not completing tasks on my agenda.
I think subliminally I am trying to convince myself to "take it easy" before I actually find a job and return to work, wherever or whatever that may be. I am being easily-led to distractions and not staying focused on chores that are staring me straight in the face. This isn't normal for me, which is probably why my lack of accomplishing anything yesterday is bothering me so much.
I have a job interview at 1:00 p.m. today. If this job is as good as it sounds, it will suit the needs of our family perfectly. While I am confident of my success to obtain this position, I am choosing to refrain from giving you all the details. I'll fill you in on all that if and when I get the news of being hired.
But, I would appreciate your prayers regarding my interview. We've been relying on God's guidance and direction in relation to my finding work, so ultimately it's up to Him whether or not I get this job. However, I still get nervous over interviews, and the follow-up that may or may not happen as a result of the interview (i.e. reference checks).
God is in control of our days. I'm trying to be an excellent steward of my resources, time being one of those resources. But yesterday I failed miserably at that; today I will do better. I must do better.