Friday, August 24, 2007

Straightening Out the Derailment Issues

On Wednesday I posted about mine and Wayne's decision to end any possibility of us having any more children in the future. I just re-read the post today, and first of all I'd like to thank all of you for your kind encouragement by the way of your comments. I do appreciate them. But I think I should clarify a couple of things regarding my thoughts surrounding the topics covered in that post.

Firstly, I certainly hope I have not offended anyone by what I wrote. I write true stories from the heart here at Mission: Kim Possible! so that's what you should expect when you visit my blog.

Secondly, for those of you who are, or who have ever had to endure infertility problems, I apologize for my potential insensitivity to you. I realize that I may have come across sounding selfish and like I was having a mini-temper tantrum because I didn't get the family I had always dreamed of. I was just sharing my feelings honestly. And I have a small, very tiny, sense of what it must feel like for a couple to be told they can never have children. I'm not sure how well that would have sat with me, had I been given that news after months and years of trying to conceive a child. But on a strange level, I think I understand a little. So, if that is you, and you are reading this, I empathize.

Thirdly, I want you all to know that I am thrilled with the family that I have. Maybe you thought that by what I wrote that I take my existing children for granted. I don't. Believe me, I don't. They are my pride and joy. And I wouldn't trade them for anything. I wouldn't trade my Thomas, Mitchell and Tyrone for anyone else.

Fourthly, my boys know they are loved and wanted. While they also know I'm sad we don't have a little girl in our immediate family, they know that I totally accept them for who they are as boys. I never want them growing up thinking that I regretted having them because they're boys and not girls.

Lastly, and this is likely going to be a potentially touchy subject . . . Wayne and I believe in birth control. Or shall I call it family planning? To us, it represents being responsible. Sure, we could potentially have 8 kids right now, but it would have been irresponsible for us to have an exceedingly large family, knowing that the emotional and financial burdens we'd experience by doing so would have meant that our children may have had to struggle in a world where they had two stressed-out parents who weren't very good parents at all because of the demands on their body, time, energy, etc. God has given us free will. That does not mean we are supposed to be stupid. Don't get me wrong . . . I admire people who can manage large families; in fact, I wish we were capable of having a larger family. But it just wasn't in God's plans for us.

We spent a lot of time in prayer as we contemplated the creation of our two children together. God has blessed us. He has given us the tremendous responsibility of being parents, and it's not something we take lightly. My most important ministry on this earth at the moment is that of being a mother. I often lose sight of that, but my children's faith journey is mine and my husband's responsibility. It is our duty to "train up our children" according to God's word--a difficult task in today's world.


Kristy said...

You know Kim, I think your pretty amazing!

Mel said...

Great post and it takes knowing yourself, your family , and being okay with saying- I'm okay with the family I have!

Wonderful post -

blessings friend