It is nearing the middle of January, and there are some days in which I feel like I'm already slipping with my personal focus and goal of 2014. I am truly trying to be beautiful inside. But guess what? Sin tries to rear its ugly head and sometimes it wins.
However, I will say that, internally, I feel the greatest sense of peace in my heart that I've ever known. And I believe that is because my focus is more about my insides than it is about my outsides. But, that does not mean that I have yet to "arrive" at perfection in this area. In fact, I am far from it. In fact, it isn't even possible to get there, so long as I'm inhabiting this earth. Some people might think that is enough of a fact to just give up on this whole FAT and Beautiful thing . . . but I'm not giving up.
The reason that I am choosing to sojourn on in this is because I can feel in my heart, the benefits of my new-found focus. My mind doesn't go places it did before, especially about my opinions surrounding my own physical appearance. My mind is also more prone to "see" the good in other people, looking at the hearts of others much sooner than I used to . . . searching for the inner beauty in a person as soon as I engage in conversation with them, or meet them for the first time, or even see them on the street or in a store.
I guess you could say that God is opening my heart to see the real beauty in other people in a way that I've never experienced before--revealing things in familiar faces that I once did not notice. I think this is more than I was expecting to happen, but I am grateful for it.
Only God could take the seed of an idea (which He placed in my soul), and make it grow into something bigger--something more grand. But that's one of the many things I love about God. He works in unexpected ways, and in ways that I hadn't even considered would happen. Maybe that's just one more thing I need to grasp hold of as I work at becoming more faithful, more available and more teachable. God is waiting to work in me, and He will, if I am willing.