Sunday, August 29, 2010

Change is Good?

Many people think change is good.  Until recently, I've never really analyzed how change affects me (on more of an emotional level).  I guess if I were to be completely honest with myself (and you), I'd have to say that I'm more likely to fight change than to embrace it.  Some change, like adding children to my life, was a welcomed change.  I did not struggle to find my new role as a mom; it came very naturally for me.  Caring for my first newborn did not create undue stress and anxiety for me.  It gave me a new purpose and created a new adventure.  I enjoyed it.  And still do :)

Moving from our townhouse located in a city, to our very first house in a neighboring community seemed to happen quite seamlessly.  I was excited to move away from the city and into a smaller centre.  I enjoyed the transition from a small townhouse to a larger home.  I didn't feel overwhelmed with making the transition.  Granted, when we moved from that house to where we currently live (on the acreage), I'd have to say that my anxiety level was higher and I was more uncertain about things than I was in our move 8 years prior.  I think that had to do with the fact that I was moving so far away from what was familiar to me, and I didn't know anyone in the area, plus my boys were starting school in a new location and as you already know, I'm really into my kids; so yes, I'd have to say that the last move we faced had more challenges for me personally, but still, inevitably the change felt good.  We had achieved one of our goals, and that was to live in the country.  And in a house larger than the one we had before.  Check and double-check!

But here is where I "change" gears and confess that the recent change in where I am employed has taken me to a new place.  I came to the realization today that what I am experiencing is, in fact, culture shock.  I am no longer working in a mainstream school.  I now work in a whole new world.  And whether I think it's good or bad is beside the point.  The point is, I am struggling to accept this change and I long to go back to what I believe to be "normal"; when in all reality, that would not "normal" for the community in which I am now teaching in.  I have entered the world of communal living.  This in itself has many benefits.  And I have great respect and admiration for the culture in which I find myself.  I'm just going to need some time to process this new culture and figure out how my gifts can best be used in this environment, and ultimately, embrace the change.  Embrace it as something good.  Yes, it's different; but I need to also accept that it is also goodThat is my challenge.

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