For anyone who knows me personally, or has followed my blog for a while and knows me through my written word, you've probably figured it out by now that I am a planner. I like my life to follow a plan. I don't particularly like to deviate from the plans that have been made by me or for me. I prefer to know what direction my life is headed, and therefore, trust and faith have been difficult for me to fully grasp.
I shared a while ago that God's been working on me in this area of late. Actually, I think He's always been working on me in this area, it's just that I've finally come to accept this and have decided to live my life in accordance with this new acceptance. It's funny (interesting-funny, not ha! ha! funny) how, once I started opening up to people about this and began to actually embrace my new-found freedom in trusting God more and relying on myself less, God is bringing new opportunities to me that I would not have even considered in the past.
I'm not going to go into the details of these opportunities just yet. You may or may not find out about them, depending on how everthing unfolds in these areas. But one thing I know for sure is that God is definitely at work in my life . . . in my heart . . . in the deepest part of me.
When I found out at the end of June last year that I was getting a 50% reduction in hours at my job, I was not a happy girl. I questioned God's timing and purpose for this reduction in hours and the response that I kept getting from Him when I asked Him what I was supposed to do with all this extra time on my hands (I asked Him this sarcastically, since I honestly did not know what good would come out of my working 3 hours a day instead of 6), He kept answering me with . . . "You are going to help build my Kingdom." What?!? That was scary. But that's the only answer He has ever given me.
So, you may ask what evidence I have of this Kingdom-building? Well, on the surface, not much. But in the hearts of those I care about, I believe God's Kingdom is slowly but surely, being built. We're talking baby steps here, folks, but a baby step is a baby step, and I'm not going to get in the way of any stepping babies! All I can do is hope and pray that when I reflect on this year spent "at home" when my plan was to be working more, I will see that God's hand was truly at work and that I was used as a tool to help build His Kindgom.
What I am called to do next is creating both fear and excitement within. Please pray for me. I want to be in God's service. I want to do His will. I want to be used to build His Kingdom.