Mission: Kim Possible!

Monday, Energy and O.J.

2012-01-30T20:46:00.001-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

88. The gift of A Rare Monday Off -- a day to catch-up on a few things!

89. The gift of Energetic Children.

90. The gift of Freshly-Squeezed Orange Juice.

Have I Ever Mentioned?

2012-01-29T17:41:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

85. The gift of Alaska's Successful Delivery of her Puppies! At the time of this post, she's had four pups; that could change, but I would be surprised if she had more. I'll post pictures later this week. This litter is especially special, because we are giving one of the puppies to my niece E, who has wanted a puppy for a very long time. Have I ever mentioned how much I love dogs, especially puppies? Well, I do.

86. The gift of Brunch at Church with Amazing Women. During our time together we focused our thoughts on 1 John, the book full of "love" images. Have I ever mentioned how much I love the women in my church? Well, I do.

87. The gift of Being On-Track with a Schedule; in this case, tomorrow is semester turn-around day in our school division. We are actually ahead of schedule with homeschooling and that is fantastic! It means my boys will likely be done all their work by the end of May if they continue working at the rate they have been up until now. Have I ever mentioned how much I love the fact that I have the opportunity to teach my own children? Well, I do.

Nostalgic Saturday

2012-01-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

82. The gift of My Friend, D, and my Great-Niece, S. They share the same birthday and they are both so very precious to me.

83. The gift of Memories. Today I was sorting through old greeting cards that we've received--some of them dating back to Ty's baby shower almost 11 years ago--it was good to read the well-wishes of others that took place at that time. Can you believe I actually got teary-eyed as I read birthday cards, sympathy cards, anniversary cards and baby congrats cards which dated that far back? Well, I did:)

84. The gift of Planning. I've got a few things to plan this year and it's always fun to dream and create possibilities in my mind.

The Power of Words

2012-01-27T23:07:00.002-07:00

Whenever I purchase a new CD, I listen to it over and over and over until the lyrics are "sunk" into my brain (and soul) . . . just in case I want to sing along with the CD in the future . . . I've already revealed my "secret" dream in a previous post, which isn't a secret any longer. Having the ability to tell a story through songs like Matthew West would be a dream come true; however, I'm not that talented, but he is and I'm loving his album.

Here is a sampling of some of the lyrics by Matthew West that I'm finding particularly meaningful:

"This is the story of your life

You decide how the rest is gonna read

This is your chance between the lines to redefine

What kind of legacy you leave"

~The Story of Your Life~

"Lord, right now I'm asking You to be

Strong enough, strong enough

For the both of us

Well maybe, maybe that's the point

to reach the point of giving up

'Cause when I'm finally, finally at rock bottom

Well that's when I start looking up

And reaching out

'Cause I'm broken

Down to nothing

But I'm still holding on to one thing

You are God . . . "

~Strong Enough~

"When you laugh

That's my favourite song

And all the gray is gone

Every single time I see you smile

I just haven't seen it in a while

So go on and dream

Bigger dreams than this town's ever seen before

There are just two kinds of people

Ones who say you're just not able

And the ones who change the world

And you're gonna change the world

~To Me~

"You've been dropped like a dream to the floor

You've been told not to try anymore

But you're waking from yesterday's war

'Cause you're a survivor"

~Survivors~

"Well, I know you're past the point of broken

Surrounded by your fear

I know your feet are tired and weary

From the road that you walk down here

But just keep your eyes on Heaven,

and I know that you are not alone

Remember the reason for the world

No ear has heard, no eye has seen

Not even in your wildest dreams

The beauty that awaits beyond the world

When you look into the eyes of grace

And hear the voice of mercy say

Child, welcome to the reason for the world

~The Reason for the World~

"There's a world full of people dying from broken hearts

Holding on to their guilt, thinking they fell too far

So don't be afraid to show 'em your beautiful scars

'Cause they're the proof, yeah you're the proof"

~The Healing Has Begun~

Today, I am thankful for . . .

79. The gift of Eating Supper At One of My Favourite Restaurants.

80. The gift of Watching My Boys Interact with their friends.

81. The gift of Realization.

The Heat is On!

2012-01-26T22:38:00.001-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

76. The gift of Our Home Returning to a Warmer Temperature. Our furnace was out-of-service for about 50 hours this week, but it is up-and-running now:)

77. The gift of A Great Deal at a Christian music store - Matthew West's CD, "The Story of Your Life" - LOVE it!

78. The gift of Witnessing God's Love in Action, through the actions of a fellow human.

Chocolate Cake = Yum!

2012-01-25T19:25:00.002-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

73. The gift of Generous and Caring Neighbours who invited us to come stay with them until our furnace is repaired; we didn't have to take them up on their offer, but it was so kind of them to be concerned.

74. The gift of Technology -- My insurance/health benefits provider has finally "got with the times" and I can now submit my health claims online, which means I should get my reimbursement back in a more timely manner. Wayne's insurance company has been doing this for a few years; mine was a bit late getting this implemented, but I'm thankful . . . Mitchell's glasses broke and so it's time for a new pair.

75. The gift of Chocolate Cake. Enough said:)

Portable Heat, Reading and Warranties

2012-01-24T20:45:00.001-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

70. The gift of Portable Heaters.

71. The gift of Listening to My Boys Read Out Loud.

72. The gift of Warranties That Are Still Valid.

Glimpses of Success

2012-01-23T21:00:00.001-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

67. The gift of Glimpes of Homeschooling Success. One of the most difficult things for me with homeschooling is knowing how to accurately assess my children's knowledge in certain subject areas. I know that the "grade" is not the end-all and be-all of one's academic existence, but I really want my boys to be equals to their peers in what they know. Perhaps that isn't the correct mentality to have, but when you've been "public-school-ized" for over six years, some of the standards remain, whether we intend for that to happen or not. The boys are doing very well in their "tests", and I'm very grateful for that. It is hard to believe that school is half-done for the year. Where is the time going?

68. The gift of My Co-workers. I couldn't ask to work with better people.

69. The gift of Good Attitudes.

Home Sweet Home

2012-01-22T23:19:00.003-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

64. The gift of An Amazing Day with my guys--last Sunday's plans got postponed until today and it was worth the wait; the road and weather cooperated for us!

65. The gift of Inquisitive Minds.

66. The gift of Being Home.

Sisters Are Different Flowers From the Same Garden

2012-01-21T19:15:00.030-07:00

Me with my sisters in October 2011 at "Sisters' Weekend".

Back from l to r: Me, H, R, C
Front from l to r: T, L

My Mom made us all aprons for Christmas.

from l to r: H, L, R, Me, T, C

Enjoying lunch with my sisters at The Olive Garden.

l to r: C, L, R, T, Me, H

Today, I am thankful for . . .

61. The gift of An Invitation to join my niece and sister to find a grad dress for my niece. This was the highlight of 2012 for me thus far. My niece looked amazing in every dress she tried on . . . but I'm confident that she chose the best one! The dress totally suits her personality, and I can't wait to see her graduate in it! Thank you, T and K, for allowing me to participate in this exciting event!

62. The gift of Sisters. I have been truly blessed by my four sisters and one sister-in-law. They are so encouraging to me; they pray for me; and they are some of my best friends. The pictures above aren't the best pictures in the world . . . I think we all look better in person:)

63. The gift of A Puppy Pen . . . Wayne and the boys constructed a really cool "pen" for the soon-to-be-born puppies. We've had a puppy pen in the past, but it wasn't high enough to prevent them from jumping out once they got to be about 4 or 5 weeks old. The new pen is much higher, has a rubberized floor and a cool half-door with a latch. The door can be made to be high or low . . . this will enable Alaska to come and go as she pleases, but when shut, it's high enough to prevent the puppies from getting out. The puppies should be arriving anytime after January 30th. I'll keep you posted.

My Very Own Little House on the Prairie

2012-01-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

58. The gift of Putting My Head Down on My Pillow and Sleeping for More Than 8 Hours -- for various reasons, this hasn't happened all week . . . the 8 hours of sleep that is. Tonight should be different:)

59. The gift of Less Frigid Temperatures. The mercury on our thermometer rose about 10 - 15 degrees in the past 12 hours, and the weekend is going to be lovely in comparison to the deep freeze we've been living in for the past 6 days.

60. The gift of Wholesome Entertainment. The boys and I enjoy watching Little House On the Prairie; they gave me a 9-season collection for Christmas, which we are loving!

Star Light, Star Bright . . .

2012-01-19T21:52:00.000-07:00

Today, I am thankful for . . .

55. The gift of A Beautiful Star-Lit Sky . . . the sky is SO clear and the stars look AMAZING tonight! This is one of my favorite parts about winter -- although it is bitterly cold out there, the sky looks more alive to me in winter than it does in any other season.

56. The gift of Flexibility . . . I worked til noon; came home, made lunch for everyone, left for the city so that Ty could make it to his drum lesson on time; we then spent a couple of hours doing homeschool in a library; ate supper, took Mitchell to his drum lesson . . . took Mitchell to youth group and Ty and I had coffee at Tim Horton's, then browsed Petland and SportMart. I love that we can take "school" on the road!

57. The gift of Being Able to Let Things Go . . . this is becoming less of a challenge for me as I choose to embrace time spent with people above time spent doing my dishes (and other household chores). There's a huge pile of dishes to do--but they will sit and wait for me. A couple of years ago I would have done everything in my power to "DO" everything instead of just enjoy "BEING". Sleep and relationships would have suffered due to my anal attitude about certain things, i.e. dishes left by the sink unwashed, at the end of the day. The dishes can wait; my time with God, time for my family, and precious-little time for myself cannot wait.

"Tire"d

2012-01-18T21:39:00.001-07:00

Today, I am thankful for . . .

52. The gift of New Tires. This was not in the game plan, but I am thankful that I was able to upgrade to better quality tires (just 2) and we had the funds to cover this unexpected expense. Tires seem to be my nemesis. Since purchasing my car 3.5 years ago, I am now on my third-and-a-half set of new tires (that is, I've purchased 14 tires for this car to-date). This does not include the set that originally came with the vehicle.

53. The gift of Wayne's Shift Work -- it it weren't for this, I would have had to miss two days of work this week, but I was able to use his vehicle to get to work while mine was out-of-commission.

54. The gift of More Cheesecake Orders . . . to help pay for the new tires.

Quotable

2012-01-17T19:38:00.004-07:00

Here are some quotes from my little desk calendar--

"Cheerfulness* keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity."

~Joseph Addison~

*I would love to exchange to word "Cheerfulness" with "Thankfulness".

"I will listen to what God the Lord will say; he promises peace to his people . . . Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven."

~Psalm 85: 8, 10-11 (NIV)~

Today, I am thankful for . . .

49. The gift of Pistachio Chocolate Chip Cookies, which are baking as I write this post.

50. The gift of A Furnace That Works; WINTER has hit us, and it has hit us HARD! This morning I woke up to a flat tire on my car, so had to do some quick vehicle rearranging and take Wayne's truck, which hadn't been plugged in yet - I plug it in when I start my car to leave in the morning and then it gets all day to get ready for his drive to work later; being a diesel engine, my prayers were answered when I turned the key and the truck actually started! And I was only a few minutes late for work:)

51. The gift of A Warm Sweater, a Heating Pad, and Cuddles with My Boys to help keep me warm.

New-Found Likes

2012-01-16T06:04:00.021-07:00

In the last several months, I've made some new "favourite" discoveries, that I'd love to share with you . . .

My new favourite eye shadow . . .

My new favourite lip gloss . . .

My new favourite laundry detergent . . .

My new favourite shampoo and conditioner . . .

My new favourite women's clothing store . . .

My new favourite restaurant where you

actually sit down and order . . .

Today, I am thankful for . . .

46. The gift of A Visit With Our Neighbours, while enjoying cheesecake and coffee.

47. The gift of Space in My Living Room - I finally got my Christmas tree and decorations taken down and put away; there is actually room to move in my living room/dining room now, even though it looks rather bare to me.

48. The gift of Fresh, Crisp Air, that only Winter can provide.

I Thought I Was the Teacher . . .

2012-01-15T09:44:00.002-07:00

Today we were supposed to go on a little field trip after church, to visit our province's Science Centre, about 3 hours from where we live. But, our plans had to quickly change as we realized that a lot of snow arrived overnight and as a result, the highways were not in very good condition. We didn't want to risk becoming stranded in another city, so we opted to stay home from both church and the Science Centre. Hopefully we'll be able to make the trip next Saturday or Sunday . . . that is, if the weather cooperates.

After assessing the weather and road conditions this morning, and making the "final call" about what our plan was going to be today, my heart sank with disappointment. I spent all day yesterday with the mindset that we would not be home today, but rather, enjoying family time and learning at the same time. Unfortunately, Wayne and I had a bit of an argument, which I'm sure stemmed from my underlying disappointment about not being able to go on our excursion today. I spoke words that were not very gracious, and so did he. I hate when that happens . . . especially after all my talk of change yesterday.

We just spent the last hour studying God's word and praying. The boys are doing their own personal reading through the book of John each night before they go to bed, and as a family we have been reading aloud the book, Heaven for Kids by Randy Alcorn. I printed off a worksheet for them to do, which fit in nicely with our reading for today, and we were able to pray for needs and concerns that we have; for people we know and about life in general. All this while Chris Tomlin played in the background.

Somehow, this simple time of study and prayer, was a blessing to me. What started out as a day full of dismay is turning into one of corporate worship with four people. And my own children have taught me a lesson in accepting disappointments when they come our way. When we told them we weren't going to be able to go on our trip today, they both accepted it without anything other than an, "Okay." And, rather cheerfully, I might add. My response was anything but cheerful. I became angry and frustrated, directing that straight to my husband. I "sulked" as I washed up the breakfast dishes, trying desperately to overcome my disappointment with a heart that was grateful. Was I willing to see the good in this, even when my heart was sad? Did I want to forgive when my husband asked for it? No, not really; but I knew that if I didn't look for good, and if I didn't accept the apology, I was only harming myself and my relationship with both Wayne and God. So, I did what I had to do and chose forgiveness. And I thanked God for the change in plans instead of dwelling on what didn't go right.

Now I feel free. And light. And grateful.

I do not know where the rest of this day will take us . . . likely to a place of eating together, laughing together and playing together. My heart does not ache so much now.

Today, I am thankful for:

43. The gift of My Children's Example in the face of my own disappointment.

44. The gift of My Husband's Heart.

45. The gift of Corporate Worship with only 4 people. The highlight for me was hearing my children pray.

Read It For Yourself

2012-01-14T18:24:00.003-07:00

This afternoon I finished reading One Thousand Gifts.

I've shared my thoughts on the book in a couple of previous posts, and I was going to share more, but I think I'm going to refrain and just suggest that you read it for yourself. My words cannot begin to explain the thought-process of the author behind the quotes I've provided thus far, and actually, I think I've probably created more confusion or controversy by only giving a snippet of the book, since a quote is just a glimpse into the bigger picture.

The book impacted me greatly, and in fact, next to the Bible, it might be one of the most life-changing books I've ever read. Through the pages of the book and the words of the author, Ann Voskamp, I have made some discoveries about myself . . . and have acknowledged some things I've refused to change, some things I've wanted to change, but wasn't exactly sure how to go about making those changes. I believe this book has provided me with an avenue to help make those changes.

I have come to realize that I am a very selfish, ungrateful person; maybe that's not so evident on the outside, but in my heart, it is. The past two weeks have brought about the beginnings of change to my selfish heart. I have given some things over to God that I should have given Him long ago and it truly has opened up a whole new world for me. I can say that I am more grateful today than I was on January 1, 2012.

So with that, I leave you with a recommendation to find the book, read it with your heart wide open and allow God to speak to you. I know there will be critics out there, but for me this was an excellent read. I really enjoyed the writing style and life-application of the words. It is a book that I plan to purchase and read again in the future.

Today, I am thankful for . . .

40. The gift of Hearing Joyful News; Recently, I've been thrilled to find out that couples who had given up hope of ever conceiving again, find themselves expecting another baby! I was just informed of this yet again today, and shivers went up my spine when I heard the news. So far this is couple number 3 in as many months:)

41. The gift of Rice Bubbling and Cooking on the Stove.

42. The gift of Finding a Black Sharpie Marker that hasn't dried out.

The Confession of a Canadian-Idol Wanna-Be

2012-01-13T09:48:00.066-07:00

I just spent the past hour sitting at my piano, plunking out tunes and attempting to sing along to my very disjointed and warped piano-playing. It's been a long time; I should have been doing something else more productive, like prepping for next weeks' homeschool, cleaning the bathroom, or taking down the Christmas decorations (yes, they are still up, and it's January 13th!). But, I enjoy the piano and I find that singing and playing is a source of escape for me now and then.

One of my "gifts" today is Music (see below). I love to sing and I love to listen to others sing. If I were to wish for one "dream career", it would be that of a singer/songwriter. I have never actually verbalized that desire before, so it may come as a bit of a shock to some people. It's not that I have a great voice or anything; I think it's acceptable at best. But if I could have that one dream come true, it would be to be a superb singer/songwriter. Someone who could write beautiful lyrics and sing those lyrics to notes that would impact the world.

But alas, that is not about to happen. My weekly performance consists of sitting in and among the church congregation, belting out my praises to the point that I think my singing is overbearing. I have noticed people sitting in front of me kind of turn to the side during worship time and look behind them without turning completely around, trying to figure out who this maniac singer behind them. But I don't care. Sunday is my one and only chance to get anywhere close to living my dream, so I sing and I sing loud. Recently we've been sitting closer to the front right by the band so that the boys can watch the drummer do his thing. I like that too. And being that close to the front, the band is a bit louder so I don't think my loud singing is quite as noticeable.

Speaking of drums, this whole drum thing is so cool, and I really have to restrain myself when I start thinking about where all these lessons might lead the boys - actually, my hope and dream for them is that they would be the drummers in church one day too. Ty started with his new drum teacher yesterday, and LOVED it! He's still missing his old teacher, S, and today he's been a bit melancholic over that; but I know that if he commits himself to working with this new teacher, B, he's going to do well. Mitchell also started lessons yesterday, but he's just doing an 8-week trial program to see how he likes it, so he's got a different teacher than Ty does. So far, Mitchell likes it a lot. In a way I think it might be easier for him to learn this instrument, because he's had flute and piano lessons in the past, which Ty did not have. On the other hand, as both Ty's former teacher and current teacher have stated, Ty is young and "moldable". He also doesn't really have a preferred music genre, so where he might go with this is wide open.

Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul.

~Plato~

Today, I am thankful for . . .

37. The gift of Music. When I am at home or in my car, there is always some music playing in the background--my world feels empty without it. On today's music agenda is FFH, Paul Brandt and Chris Tomlin; three groups/artists I never tire of listening to.

38. The gift of A Large Double-Double Coffee from Tim Horton's, sipped while chatting with a good friend.

39. The gift of Searching Scripture for the perfect verse(s) to encourage a friend.

Sleep, Oatmeal and Someone New

2012-01-12T08:13:00.001-07:00

Today, I am thankful for:

34. The gift of Sleeping In An Extra Hour.

35. The gift of a Warm Bowl of Oatmeal.

36. The gift of Meeting Someone New.

God's Word as a Lens

2012-01-11T17:12:00.002-07:00

Trying to answer life's tough questions is never easy . . . even when you know in your head that God is good--all the time. As I've delved more and more into Ann Voskamp's book, I have gained a better understanding of God's character and His plan for me. Actually, I am almost finished reading the book, but there are certain parts of it that I feel led to share on my blog. I've left little "bookmarks" throughout the book in the hopes that I can make some comments on my blog pertaining to the parts I've read that have impacted me the most.

I haven't spoken much of my stepson, Thomas, recently, but he is not doing well and without going into much detail, I will say that he is definitely a prodigal child; he's a prodigal in the sense that he is still "out there" and hasn't realized that he needs to embrace His Father's Love and return to what he knows is right and true.

The past and current issues with my stepson are definitely an area that Satan enjoys reminding me of in my day-to-day life. I still find that I am blaming myself for things that happened, which, in all reality, may not have been my responsibility in the first place; and then when I evaluate the nine years that he was living under the same roof as me, I realize that I made so many mistakes in parenting him and if only I could go back in time and change things, perhaps there would have been a more favourable outcome. Or maybe not. It is so hard to know in this particular situation, but it is definitely something that I ponder a lot.

We did not spend Christmas with him due to where he currently resides, and it was the first time in 16 years that I have not seen my stepson during the Christmas season. It makes my heart ache, really. And Satan likes to rub in the fact that my hopes and dreams for this "family" that Wayne and I attempted to create when we joined together in marriage, ultimately did not succeed according to our plan. But, we press on and work diligently at positively influencing the family unit that currently exists, even in the dysfunctional state that it is in when all members are considered and accounted for.

Reading One Thousand Gifts has helped me to answer some of my unanswered questions in the ways of God and how He interacts with His creation. Specific to the struggles surrounding Thomas, the following passage in the book was helpful to me, and in the end, I am choosing to make a conscious effort to NOT ALLOW Satan to distort my view of the Everlasting God.

"It's just that the eyes are bad--my perspective. "Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body," Jesus said. "When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!" (Matthew 6:22-23). If Satan can keep my eyes from the Word, my eyesight is too poor to read light--to fill with light. Bad eyes fill with darkness so heavy the soul aches because empty is never truly empty; empty is only a full, deepening darkness. So this is what it is to be. Eve in the Garden. Satan's hiss tickling the ear, "Did God actually say . . . ?" (Genesis 3:1 ESV).

No Scripture glasses to read what God is trying to write through a prodigal child? Scrawl my own quick editing on the half-finished story: failure. Satan's tongue darts.

Not wearing a biblical lens to decipher the meaning of a doctor's ominous diagnosis? Just read Satan's slippery interpretation: cheated.

Not using anything to bend the light of this world so I can read my own messy days? Spray on another layer of graffiti: worthless.

So I have been ambushed.

Without God's Word as a lens, the world warps.

~from Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts~

Failure. Cheated. Worthless. Yes, those are the messages that Satan has been filling my mind with for years. But I know I will have victory over this---by God's grace, I will.

Today, I am thankful for . . .

31. The gift of God's Word as my lens.

32. The gift of Hope.

33. The gift of Encouraging Words.

Dress for Success

2012-01-10T18:09:00.003-07:00

Coming off of a great experience, I often feel kind of horrible once the reality of real-life sets in after-the-fact. That's what I feel like is happening to me today, but I can't quite pinpoint why I am feeling distressed; something is just off with me and I cannot wait until the feeling passes. And regarding the great experience, I cannot even really pinpoint what that would be. My Christmas was good, and I enjoyed the bit of time I had to rejuvenate during the holidays. But since Christmas, some significant negative things have happened to people very close to me, and as I reflect on what could have been, rather than what did happen, I am grateful for a God who sends His protective angels to surround us in our time of need.

I know Satan is trying desperately to drag me to a place where I don't want to be. I see the signs and now it is time to do combat. I am so thankful that I have the assurance of a God who is more powerful than anything else in this world, which includes the spiritual realm. It is time for me to put on "full armour" and battle Satan's attack. I suspect that Satan is very upset over the fact that I am committed to reading God's word daily and that I am recognizing God's goodness in my life on this blog each day by listing my "3 Gifts".

A Fight to the Finish

Ephesians 6:10-18 (The Message)

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

Today, I am thankful for:

28. The gift of Protection, both physically and spiritually.

29. The gift of Hugs and Kisses.

30. The gift of Forgiveness.

A Moon Set, A Sunrise, Harmony & Clear Water

2012-01-09T15:59:00.002-07:00

Today, I am thankful for . . .

25. The gift of Viewing a Sunrise and a Moon set, simultaneously. This morning on my way to work, I was driving north, and to the left of me was the HUGE moon "setting" in the west; to the right of me, the bright red-orange sun was beginning to peek over the horizon in the east. It was incredible to witness.

26. The gift of Hearing My Boys Getting Along. Because my boys are homeschooled, they spend a lot of time together. They do love each other a lot; However, sometimes these factors combined can create an atmosphere of war, so when moments of them getting along really well occur, I savour them to the max.

27. The gift of Clear Water. As I mentioned in a previous post, we've been having some trouble with our reverse-osmosis system properly filtering the iron out of our water. As a result, we seem to have rust in our lines, for the first time in five years. This has made for some interesting side-effects, one of them being that the water with which I wash our dishes, often has a hint of "orange". Every morning I "test" the water by filling a clear glass with water from our tap, letting it sit, and then analyzing it. For the past three days, the water has come out clear. It's always a good day when that happens.

What the Year May Hold

2012-01-08T14:16:00.003-07:00

2012. One week in and so far I can say it has been a good year:)

Last week I felt like I was finally able to "catch my breath" after the month of December. However, I still have a very messy house, Christmas decorations to take down and put away (why is it always more fun to put them up than take them down?), rust in our water lines, and a fruit-fly (or drain fly?) problem that I cannot seem to get a handle on.

But today I am supposed to rest. So, I will try. I will enjoy the day as it was intended to be and try to ignore the list of things mentioned above, which, in the grand scheme of things, are trivial matters.

I look forward to what the year holds. This is what we plan to do: a trip to our province's Science Centre; attending a Chris Tomlin concert in our nearest city; the premiere of our women's ministry Spring Fling at church; a visit from a friend whom I haven't seen for many years; celebrating 15 years of marriage; turning 40 years old; welcoming the teen years for one of the boys; celebrating one of our niece's high school graduation; another Sisters' Weekend (I hope); renovating our laundry room to include a sink, toilet and tub; the arrival Alaska's puppies; inviting women into my home for fun and fellowship; spending time with more friends over coffee or supper; taking the boys to a mineral spa hotel and exploring tunnels which were supposedly occupied by Al Capone; camping with the boys; finishing the school year and beginning another one; celebrating Christmas in 2012!

Filling-in-the-spaces between those events, only God knows.

Today, I am thankful for:

22. The gift of Women with whom I connect each month as we discover God's Word together; they are all such a blessing to me and it is a privilege to lead them in this way.

23. The gift of My Best Friend's Daughters, who are always so excited to see me.

24. The gift of Rest.

Life is Not an Emergency

2012-01-07T20:22:00.002-07:00

Seven days into reading the book (One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp), and already I can see my perspective on life is changing. I'm noticing more. Things I hadn't really taken the time to notice before are standing out; and I am searching for the gifts . . . . they are all around me. In fact, they abound! Details are becoming more clear. People are becoming more real. God's Word is more alive than ever before. All this because I have decided to intentionally seek out what was right under my nose all along--God's grace gifts.

One of my favorite chapters so far has been regarding time. As a person who likes to have a schedule, hates to be late and utilizes calendars, planning tools and lists (usually in physical form but sometimes in her head), this chapter was a good one for me to read. I am going to quote a couple of passages from the chapter, and maybe you'll be impacted too.

"I speak it to God: I don't really want more time; I just want enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done --- yesterday. In a world . . . with its 'live in the moment' buzz phrase that none of the whirl-weary seem to know how to do, who actually knows how to take time and live with soul and body and God all in sync? . . . I just want time to do my one life well."

"Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respecter of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. I can slow the torrent by being all here. I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment. And when I'm always looking for the next glimpse of glory, I slow and enter. And time slows. Weigh down this moment in time with attention full, and the whole of time's river slows, slows, slows. . . . Here is the only place I can love Him. I have time for God . . . I am a hunter of beauty and I move slow and I keep the eyes wide, every fibre of every muscle sensing all wonder and this is the thrill of the hunt and I could be an expert on the life full, the beauty meat that lurks in every moment. I hunger to taste life. God."

I have wasted so much time in my life on fruitless endeavors. On the flip-side, I have also accomplished much with my time. Keeping my priorities in order has been one of my biggest personal challenges this past year. Ensuring that my life has balance in all important areas can be a struggle. There are many demands on my time, and I have now decided to take on the attitude that Life is Not an Emergency. I've often lived in such a way that evoked the message of life being an emergency. My emergency. My agenda. My time. I wish to savour the moments; soak up the world around me; enjoy the people God has placed in my life; spend time immersed in His word, because that is, afterall, where true life is found.

"Without God's word as a lens, the world warps."

Today, I am thankful for:

19. The gift of Dirty Dishes, because it means I have food to eat.

20. The gift of Folding Laundry, because it means that I have clothes to wear and children to dress.

21. The gift of A Messy Family Room, because it means that other people live here with me.

*All quotes in today's post are from Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts.

Aromas, A-Ha's and Heat

2012-01-06T13:39:00.005-07:00

Today, I am thankful for . . .

16. The gift of The Aroma of Brewed Coffee . . . when my husband is working the day shift, the mix of brewed coffee and his nearly-burnt toast is a welcomed smell for me to wake up to.

17. The gift of Witnessing an "A-Ha!" Moment when you are teaching your son a new math concept. Equally as exciting is when you yourself have the same "A-Ha Moment", because when you were in grade 7, you didn't understand math at all.

18. The gift of Heating Pad Warmth as it eases the pain of sore muscles.

A Drummer, A Card and Anticipation

2012-01-05T21:52:00.007-07:00

Today, I am thankful for . . .

13. The gift of Ty's Drum Teacher, S . . . we said good-bye to him tonight as he is leaving on a missions trip next week; It's amazing how much one person can impact another in just a few months; S's love first and foremost for the Lord, his love of drumming, and dedicated teaching style has inspired and impacted Ty more than I realized . . . when Ty found out his teacher was leaving, he burst into tears and was close to sobbing. We had to jump through a few hoops to work out a plan so that Ty can continue on with drum lessons with the new teacher recommended by S, and we pray that the transition will go smoothly.

14. The gift of Personal Mail; with so much electronic communication these days, receiving physical Christmas cards, photos and letters over the past month has been a refreshing change. We are still getting them, and soon it will be the second week of January!

15. The gift of Anticipation. We have lots to look forward to in the next several months and it makes my heart smile:) . . .

Inquisition, Quenching and Money

2012-01-04T13:54:00.006-07:00

Today, I am thankful for . . .

10. The gift of the Inquisitive Minds of those I teach. If only I had all the answers for them.

11. The gift of Quenching My Thirst, both physically and spiritually.

12. The gift of Enough Funds in our Bank Account to cover the unexpected cost of purchasing a new pump for our septic tank; without this very costly but necessary item, my basement would literally be full of crap right now.

Love, Libraries and Leisurely Attitude

2012-01-03T16:03:00.008-07:00

Today, I am thankful for . . .

7. The gift of a sweet "I Love You, Mom" text from my youngest son today.

8. The gift of a Library, from which we can borrow books rather than buy them.

9. The gift of My Husband's Leisurely Attitude, which is a good lesson for me.

Thank-you, One Thousand Times!

2012-01-02T16:36:00.016-07:00

I just began a book called, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. It recently became available at our church library, and I was fortunate enough to sign it out yesterday. I have only read two chapters, but this book has already brought me to tears several times. Without giving anything major away, what I've read so far has to do with accepting the grace God provides, particularly during times of loss, pain and grief. I think it's going to be a favorite book of mine. My intent was to pre-read it before buying it and giving it away to a friend of mine who has experienced some great losses recently. Hopefully it will be an encouragement to her.

I am not exactly sure where this book is headed with the concept of the "one thousand gifts" thing, but my suspicion is that it is going to suggest keeping track of gifts we find in our day-to-day living. The promo line on the book is, "A DARE TO LIVE FULLY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE." So, that is what I am going to attempt to do this year. One of the ways I hope to accomplish this is by keeping track of 1000 gifts/blessings I experience in 2012. Since this year is a leap year, there are 366 days to keep track of this, which means I need to list 2.73 "gifts" per day. So, I'll just round that up to 3 and that way I should come up with over a thousand gifts.

I contemplated the best way to track my "gift list", and have decided to use my blog as the means to get my thankfulness out there. This will give me a reason to post more often, and I can expand on my list items if I so choose to. I would really like to focus on the positive this year as opposed to the negative, and I'm hoping that blogging about these things will help me stay focused on that goal. Some of the things I am thankful for will seem silly; some will seem profound. I want to be real, so real is what you are going to get. I don't think God minds if we are grateful for the "little things in life" . . . after all, He gave them to us.

Since I missed doing this yesterday, today I'm going to list 6.

1 - 6 of my Thousand Gifts

1. The gift of Newness. A new year . . . a time to set new goals and look ahead to the future.

2. The gift of Hamburger. This is my favorite meat product to work with because it is so versatile and my children and husband do not seem to tire of it. Today we had Stove-Top Beef Stroganoff, a recipe I concocted myself. It's one of my boys' favourites!

3. The gift of Holidays. My time off has allowed me to re-balance myself after a previously-chaotic month.

4. The gift of Dogs. I have three - I love them all for different reasons and I am so glad that God gave us "Man's Best Friend."

5. The gift of Snow. We recently received more, for which I am thankful. I don't think I've ever lived in such a brown winter prior to this year. The whiteness makes everything better.

6. The gift of Chocolate. My boys stocked me up with a tonne of chocolate this year for Christmas, and I never tire of eating it.

2011 Year in Review

2012-01-01T16:54:00.007-07:00

Obviously this blog has not been a priority this past year . . . I think I counted something like 20 posts over the last 12 months . . . pretty pathetic; however, one of my goals for 2012 is to post a minimum of once a week on here--I love to write and I want to make this a priority. I already eluded to this in my previous post, but I find that Facebook has been an "easier" way to stay in contact with a much larger base of people, even though status lines are just mere snippets of what's going on as opposed to thoughts that emerge from my brain which I feel compelled to share in more detail. That's what this blog was initially intended for - long before Facebook ever existed.

So, here I am to share a bit of what our year has been like - the highs, lows and mediocre moments. I will begin with January 2011 and end with December 2011, sharing moments of interest from each month, if applicable. For any of you who make it through this post, I think I might owe you some chocolate or something. This is probably going to be one of the longest posts ever written by yours truly.

JANUARY
After four grueling months at my new job location, I finally came to peace with being there and resigned myself to the fact that since the environment was not going to change anytime soon, I was going to have to change. So, I did. My approach to my job had to shift in order for me to maintain my sanity, and by God's grace, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that God knew what He was doing when He placed me in that job location. Of course, in my finite human mind, I had a hard time understanding it all, but as I look back on the past 18 months, I realize that God's hand was definitely putting all the pieces together so that the bigger picture could unfold in a way that I myself would not have imagined.

Part of this bigger picture was the sense we had about making some changes to the way our children were being educated. Last January, Mitchell (who was part-way through Grade 6 at the time) began his homeschooling journey. As a result of our decision to homeschool, we now have a more emotionally-stable son, who is loving his homeschooling experience and the unique opportunities that go along with it. My adjustment to having Mitchell at home more, trying to manage family life, homeschooling and working outside of the home has gone well and I am grateful for God's grace in our day-to-day living. My free-time has virtually vanished, but all for a good reason.

FEBRUARY
I believe it was this month that I decided to read more books; this inspiration came from three different sources . . . one was from the students at the school in which I work, whom, as far as I am concerned, are the most avid readers I have ever met; secondly, my own children. Mitchell's homeschooling ELA program incorporated novel studies, which I read aloud to him (and Ty) each evening; and my final inspiration came from one of my own friends, who informed me that she reads on average, one book a week, every year. I was blown away by that accomplishment, and so for me, not an avid reader, my decision to read one book every two weeks, making a total of 26 books read by the end of 2011, seemed like a potentially attainable goal. Now, I must admit, some of the books I read were books meant for pre-teens or teens; but they were, nonetheless, books of content and I accomplished my goal of reading 26 books. (Also included in my 26 books was the Bible reading I do on a daily basis.) I finished my last book around 4:15 p.m on December 31st! My three favorite books read in 2011 were: Major Pettigrew's Last Stand, by Helen Simonson; Carry On, Mr. Bowditch, by Jean Latham; and Dogwood, by Chris Fabry.

February also brought about an opportunity for Mitchell to participate in the Provincial Tae-Kwon-Do Tournament, in which he place 2nd and 3rd in patterns and sparring, respectively. We were very proud of his accomplishments as a yellow-belt. He continued on with TKD until this December, at which time he quit and has decided to pursue drumming instead.

MARCH
Aside from many family and friend birthdays, I do not have much to say about March . . . I think it came in like a lion and went out like a lion . . .

APRIL
Easter arrived very late this year, so by the time we had the school break, it seemed like a long time since our last one! Our holiday was low-key with some time spent with family as we celebrated Jesus' death and resurrection to give us eternal life. During the break, Mitchell got a major hair-cut and was able to donate about 7 inches of his hair to a company that makes wigs for cancer patients. He set this goal for himself, and he had to endure a lot of teasing along the way, as his hair grew longer and longer. At the time he enjoyed his long hair; however, now he says he'll never grow his hair long again.

MAY
Mitchell and Ty both started playing in a ball hockey league in May, which lasted until the end of June. It was a great opportunity for them to get some exercise, make some new friends and play a sport that they both enjoyed. Unfortunately for Mitchell, because of when his birthday occurs in the year, he was competing against kids much older and larger than him, so it was an intimidating sport at times, but the boys both did well in their divisions even if they didn't win all their games. I must admit I was somewhat relieved when it was all over, though, because it was a huge time commitment as we were gone 4 nights a week to accommodate their game schedules.

JUNE
The end of the school year was very welcomed in our home. However, before it came to an end, the boys were able to participate in some field trips and year-end activities. I was able to attend a field trip with Ty's class, and Wayne was able to go on a field trip with Mitchell and a group of other homeschoolers, which was awesome. We celebrated Ty's 10th birthday and still cannot believe that he's already that old!

JULY
I'd kind of like to forget about July, to be honest. It was a trying month for us financially and emotionally. Plans to visit family out-of-province for a mini-vacation had to be abolished due to vehicle expenses and lack of funds. Also, an accident at the intersection at the end of our driveway (we live in the country and our yard is on a corner with stop signs two ways), took the life of a community member. We did not know the accident victim, but Wayne was first on the scene and had a lot to deal with as a result. Thankfully, the boys and I were at our church for the evening attending VBS, so we didn't arrive home until Wayne said it was okay to return.

However, July was not all bad, as we were able to have one of our adult nieces visit for a few day; we also participated in our local agricultural fair and did quite well with our entries; Mitchell got to be a part of the parade, riding on the TaeKwonDo float; we were able to visit with more family members at my parents' house as well. Wayne had two weeks of holidays in which we camped out in our back yard with our new tent, sleeping bags and air mattresses. Since we weren't able to leave and actually go camping for real, we decided to turn our own property into a campground and I actually much-preferred that anyway. It meant less packing and organizing for me:)

AUGUST
August arrived and we were able to visit with more of my family. The last few weeks of our summer holidays flew by as I diligently prepared for Mitchell's grade 7 year; and what seemed like the very last minute, we decided to include Ty in the homeschooling experience as well. It was a bit of a whirlwind, but well worth it. I don't hear, "I'm so bored; School is SO boring!" coming from the mouth of my youngest anymore. He was excited to start school with his brother and so far, so good. The boys truly are best friends and most of the time they are happy to be together as much as they are.

SEPTEMBER
In September life fell back into the best routine it could, and to be honest, I thought I was going to drown in my own life. Thankfully, over time, and again, by God's grace, everything felt normal again within several weeks of starting our "new" life . I returned to my job with the flexibility I need in order to accommodate the boys' learning; Wayne started working a LOT of overtime due to product demand at his workplace; Mitchell started grade 7 and Ty grade 5; we celebrated Mitchell's 12th birthday; Mitchell began Youth Group at our church and Ty began attending The Bridge at our church as well - both programs are amazing and the boys look forward to their events each week/month; Ty began drum lessons; Mitchell continued in TaeKwonDo and like I said, Wayne and I fought for our ~~sanity~~ . . . oops! Did I just say that?

OCTOBER
October was probably one of my favorite months of the year, because this was the month that my four sisters and one sister-in-law and I, got together for a weekend getaway at one of my sisters' homes in Edmonton. Seriously, this was one of my top five highlights of the year. I have got to be one of the most blessed women alive to have such a group of amazing individuals to be called not only my sisters, but my friends and advisers as well. They all rock!

And, once again, it was time for Wayne to return to Man Camp (The Fall Edition), one week after I returned from my weekend with my sisters. So, we both got a taste of being away and the boys got more focused time with each of their parents. It was a totally win-win situation.

NOVEMBER
During this month, life continued to progress as usual. The boys were both fully engrossed in their extra-curricular and church activities, myself in managing our schedule in such a way that the boys' education did not falter, and Wayne making sure he was getting enough sleep in order to put in all the extra overtime at work. Eventually, his boss realized that the guys were burning out so he cut the overtime. That was a relief.

A little bit more on Ty's highlight of the year, which has been the start of his drum lessons. He stated earlier in the fall that he wanted to learn how to play drums. I was hesitant about this, because what it meant to me was a huge expense and a lot of noise. But, there is a music company in our nearest city that offers an 8-week trial program for various instruments, for a very low fee. This program allows the student to try something out without making a huge commitment. I thought it was a great idea, so I got Ty signed-up for drums, anticipating that once the 8 weeks was over, he'd be done with it. Well, apparently he's got some talent. So, he now has his own drum kit and has continued on beyond the 8 weeks. Unfortunately, his drum teacher, (who happens to be an amazing Christian guy), is not going to be returning in the new year. He referred us to someone else, and so in a couple of weeks, Ty will be working with another drum instructor. We are hoping this new teacher will inspire Ty as much as his former one did. It has been so fun to witness Ty's (hidden) talent unfold . . . and just so you know, I love the "noise" . . . and it's been worth every cent!

DECEMBER
December is a bit of a blur to me. I baked goodies and decorated the house in order to prepare for the two Christmas parties I hosted for my "girl" friends the first weekend of December; participated in a cookie swap the following day; baked a total of 19 cheesecakes for people who got wind of the fact that I make cheesecakes and so I had a bit of a cheesecake-baking business going for a few weeks; tried to finish the school session successfully with the boys; worked extra days at my job due to Christmas-related activities and ensuring that enough hours had been logged for December's paycheque; attending several family Christmas gatherings and preparing for the next "season" of homeschooling. In and among this, drum lessons, youth group parties, book reading and preparations for other events, nearly overshadowed the true meaning behind why all the craziness was happening in the first place.

For the past two days I have been able to sit down (finally) and relax and contemplate the season and the upcoming year and establish some goals for myself and our family.

Upon reflecting on the past twelve months, I am grateful for a God who proves Himself over and over. He is faithful and He knows what is best for me. It is sometimes impossible to understand why things happen the way they do in my life, and why they don't happen the way I think they should. It is because I do not have the greater picture. God holds the key to my future and I'm glad He does. Each day in 2011 I gave God a little bit more control . . . more of Him. Less of me.

I hope and pray that trend continues . . .

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

2011-12-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

So, here it is, exactly 3 months since my last post.

I'm seriously considering putting this blog on the back-burner permanently . . . it seems like I never have enough time in my week to write my thoughts down to share with you all . . . whomever "you all" is . . . I don't think many people are reading this thing. Facebook status lines are easier to write; quicker to compose; and reach a larger audience. "Audience". That's not why I write, but it is a lot more fun to write when you know someone else is reading it.

So, Christmas. Here it is again. We've already celebrated with Mitchell and Ty. We did that yesterday. Tonight we have our Candlelight Service at church and then tomorrow we're back at church again and then off to spend time with my side of the family for a few days. We are close enough to my parents that we can come home to our own beds for night, which is nice, but it also means a lot of driving.

I am really looking forward to seeing my sisters and their families, plus my brother and his family. We always seem to have lots of fun visiting, eating and playing games. I have been blessed with a great family of incredible people.

This post must now end. But I wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a great new year led by our amazing Lord.

Twelve

2011-09-24T10:56:00.000-06:00

Today is Mitchell's 12th birthday!

I cannot belive it. He has less years at home than he has already spent with us. Hopefully we are making progress in raising a human being who is in love with God, cares for those around him and attempts to make a difference in the world.

This "baby" gift changed my life. In so many ways. I love you, Mitchell!

"Build My Kingdom"

2011-09-17T19:55:00.001-06:00

A little over two years ago my job took a significant cut in hours. At the time I was disappointed, bewildered and sad. I loved my work and I could not understand why God was directing my life in this way. I had to make a decision -- I could stay at the job I was, but take a 45% cut in hours, or transfer to another workplace, and take a 15% cut in hours. At the time, staying put and taking a larger cut seemed like the best option; and I still believe it was. The months that followed were some of my best employment hours ever spent. I was paired with a fantastic teacher, a great E.A. partner/colleague in the classroom, and a super group of kids that still fill my heart with warm fuzzy feelings as I reflect back on my time spent with them.

Obviously, God knew what He was doing.

However, I still remember being confused about why I had to work less hours, wondering what I was going to do with all the free time I would now have . . . and in response to my question to God, "What am I going to do now?", He responded with the words: "Build my Kingdom." Build your kingdom? How was I possibly going to do that, and what, exactly did that mean for me? In a short while it became clear to me that my newly found "free time" was to be spent seeking God, getting to know Him more and listening for His direction as "Build My Kingdom" came more evident.

So, here it is, two years later and I'm still consciously trying to build . . . His Kingdom. Not mine; although I must admit that distractions in this world have me thinking that I have not yet met the mark. Obviously. Actually, for as long as I live, I will be working at building His Kingdom. What I have realized in the last two years is that building is a process; sometimes a slow one. And like a lake that is created by one drop of water at a time, God's Kingdom building process can be like that too. And our efforts and attempts to build the Kingdom may not be obvious or evident to us at the present time--possibly not even in our own lifetime! But we are called to be faithful, and God will take care of the rest.

Stepping ahead in obedience has changed my life. Looking back on where God has taken me from in my journey, I see His hand in all of it. And I look ahead to the future, trying not to worry about all the ifs, ands and buts of my life and the lives of those whom I influence . . . trusting Him to help me build.

"If we really fully belong to God, then we must be at His disposal and we must trust in Him. We must never be preoccupied with the future. There is no reason to be. God is there."
-Mother Teresa-

Finally, a Post!

2011-08-19T16:15:00.002-06:00

So here it is, almost three months since my last post. Bad, I know. I wish I would have been better at keeping this blog up during the summer months. I was just lacking motivation, which isn't like me when it comes to writing. I'm not sure what happened . . . I was just in a slump I guess. July was a particularly difficult month for me emotionally, as we had to put a kibosh on our summer holiday plans due to vehicle problems and house problems, which all added up to expenses that far-exceeded our income or budget. Thankfully, August has not brought as many financial challenges; however, due to July's bombardment of problems, I'm still working at catching up on paying bills and making sure "everyone's happy" in the world that exists beyond my own. There have been times this summer that I wished I could just crawl into a hole and stay there.

But I will start blogging again now, reporting to you that I really dislike this time of year. It's the time of year when I can see the end of August approaching on my calendar and I suddenly begin to internally panic. I didn't get all the tasks completed that I had intended to start on July 1st . . . There are only 12 more sleeps until the boys start school again and I return to my job . . . How will we still fit in quality time while I try to complete all the "projects" I intended to complete in July, but didn't even get started on? How can I still fit-in all the invitations for friends we had hoped to come for supper that never happened? How will I ever be ready to begin homeschooling again when I have 101 other things on my to-do list? . . . and the list of things that put me into "secret-panic-mode" goes on and on.

One thing I do like about this time of year, however, is the fact that yard work will soon become less intense, and with that, the temperatures will be cooler and my beloved winter will return soon enough. I must say, though, that I have enjoyed the summer weather for the most part. Thus far, there have only been a few unbearably hot days, and it is unlikely that a heat wave will arrive anytime soon.

I'm not sure how to end this post, so I just will. Until next time . . .

Happy Birthday, Bathroom Boy!

2011-06-05T22:37:00.003-06:00

It is hard to believe that 10 years ago TODAY, I delivered Tyrone Michael Wayne in the bathroom of our house. I remember it all so vividly . . . hard to believe it really happened!

Ten years have come and gone SO quickly and I hope I can savour the next ten even more than I did the first ten. However, with the teen years up-and-coming, I'm not so sure I'll be able to:)

Ty has been such a blessing to our family and I'm not quite sure what life would be like without him in it . . . I wish I could post pictures, but our computer crashed this week and so I now am relying on a very awkward method of Internet use - either through my teeny tiny phone screen or through our Wii. Not ideal, but I am grateful for our wireless router which allows me to at least have some connection to cyberspace.

Stuck

2011-06-02T09:19:00.003-06:00

Wow, it's hard to believe that I actually haven't posted here since the middle of April. It's not that I haven't been here, or had anything to say; I'm just finding myself to be stuck. Stuck in so many areas that I don't even know where to begin to write about my "stuck-i-ness".

Life is busy. But at the same time, I find that there are moments in my day that I look back on and feel I've wasted them. Spending too much time researching on the Internet; spending too much time on Facebook; spending too much time reading just for the sake of reading; spending too much time taking power naps just so that I can get through the evening; spending too much time sitting and twiddling my thumbs when I could be more productive. But it's the moments "wasted" where I feel like I've regained some of my energy, which has been lacking of-late.

I feel stuck in so many areas of my life - in my job, in my parenting, in my marriage, in my friendships, in my ministries, in my purpose. I look around my and see all the things I need to do--everything I need to accomplish. Then I look away and try to ignore it because I don't have the energy to tackle the project(s). Therefore, little "messes" tend to pile up - and I don't just mean physical messes. These are "messes" in relationships, in attitudes, in feelings.

I am really looking forward to summer holidays - probably moreso this year than any other. I think part of that has to do with the fact that I have been trying to juggle a lot and keep a lot at the top of my priority list, and I am longing for the day when two significant weights will be lifted at least for a short while - those weights are my job and my role as Mitchell's homeschooling teacher. Yes, June 29th cannot come soon enough.

It is not that I despise either of these tasks. My job has taken a turn for the better since Christmas, and homeschooling has been successful as far as I'm concerned. But they are two responsibilities that I look forward to having a bit of a break from.

Being stuck isn't a good place to be in. I want to move forward and not regress. I don't want to stay stuck. I'm just seeking some direction from God right now in a couple of areas in my life and I think the waiting for answers is also contributing to my feeling of being stuck.

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
~Philippians 3:12-14, The Message

More . . . Worth Quoting

2011-04-17T13:53:00.001-06:00

"You've died to the illusion that life is fair and that every story ends happily ever after. That's why they call them fairy tales. You've died to the illusion that you can understand why. None of us knows the answer to that, and those who think they do are the saddest lot of all because they've never come to the end of their own understanding. It's not faith to say that when something painful happens, when you lose and lose again and the hurt goes so deep that you don't think you can take another breath, it's all going to work out for good. Faith doesn't explain. It doesn't even need to know or expect a happy ending. That's not what we're promised. Faith is abandoning illusions. It rests in something bigger, something beyond us and our ability." (emphasis mine)
~Chris Fabry, from the novel Dogwood~

" . . . eternity is a human stream and our stories are the rain, falling, flowing, surging, searching for an end. But there is no end. Never will be. And that's the great thing about living."
~Chris Fabry, from the novel Dogwood~

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed."
~ Audrey Hepburn~

Synopsis

2011-04-07T23:43:00.000-06:00

I will try to make this short and sweet.

I have lots of thoughts swirling around in my head but not enough time in my day to sit down and give those thoughts justice in a blog post.

So, here's how "things are going".

1. Homeschooling
Homeschooling is THE best thing we could have ever done for our son. I am happy to report that my feelings of being overwhelmed by it all were minimal and short-lived. The curriculum is basically running itself and I do not have to spend as much time "preparing for the next day" like I did at the beginning of this all. I think we've finally found our groove and sticking with it. I think the most difficult thing for me personally has been the reactions of people in the school and community from which we removed our son. It's interestingly funny how the people who feel most compelled to share their "two-cents worth" are the very parents of the kids who were doing the majority of the bullying. We continue to press on, following the plan we feel God has laid before us with regards to educating our son.

2. The Other Son
It seems like this blog has devoted much of my thoughts regarding Mitchell; but in all reality, I have another amazing son who has his own struggles. His biggest challenge is boredom. Ty is in constant need of something to do and there are times that I am at a loss as to how to help him with this. He claims we never do anything, go anywhere, see anyone, etc. which isn't true. I guess our life just isn't exciting enough for him. However, I've registered both him and Mitchell for a spring ball-hockey league, which will take place on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the months of May and June. We are all SO excited about this. The only drawback is that the boys do not qualify to play in the same age group, which means I may have some interesting juggling to do with regards to their playing times and locations. However, I'm hoping and praying that those rare instances of scheduling conflicts will be on the days that Wayne is working days and not nights.

3. Books
I've given up several favorite t.v. shows since the start of homeschooling Mitchell, only to have some of that time replaced by reading. I have a goal to read 26 books by the end of 2011. That may not sound like many to most people, but for me, someone who has never claimed to be an avid reader, this will be a huge accomplishment. I seriously cannot wait for my "book time" at the end of each day. I now understand how reading could consume so much of a person's day. I wish I could allow it to consume more of my time.

4. Work
I am actually really enjoying my job and am looking forward to returning to the same school next year. What I love about my job is the flexibility I have, the great people I work with and the fact that I have 2 or 3 days off per week which helps me stay on top of the homeschooling stuff. The kids that I work with are very near and dear to my heart, even though they continue to amuse me with interesting behaviors and challenges.

5. Friendships
Over the past year I have been able to deepen some of my relationships with women who were merely acquaintances not so long ago. Unfortunately, some other friendships seem to be losing steam and I'm not sure why. I am trying to make an effort to keep all my friendships "nurtured", but sometimes that is impossible simply due to life getting in the way. I'm going to write a separate blog post on this, but for the past 8 months I've been blessed by something called "Cheesecake Fridays", a monthly get-together for women that I initiated under the direction of the Holy Spirit. It's been a huge encouragement to me and I am so fortunate to have a wonderful group of women to connect with each month.

So, there you go. That's all I have time for right now. My life in an nutshell. More later:)

Walk, Walk, Walking . . .

2011-03-12T00:07:00.014-07:00

I have recently started a new exercise regiment which involves walking indoors. The weather continues to remain wintery here, so taking walks outside is an unpleasant, unwelcoming thought. While I do not get to experience nature in this walking program, I am experiencing the benefits of exercise and I've walked a total of just over 19 km (12 miles) in the past 5 days. I have already seen results.

The program is free and easy. I found it on You Tube, of all places. There are two "videos" by Leslie Sansone, which allow you to do a total of 2 miles of walking. I've been doing both videos everyday for the past five days so that I get in my 2 miles per day. It takes just under 30 minutes of my time to "walk", and I've looked forward to this part of my day since I began. I use 1.5 leg weights which I purchased at Wal-Mart for about $4.00 each, but you don't have to use leg weights if you'd rather start out with less intensity.

I plan to purchase some of Leslie Sansone's other DVD's in the near future, so that I can increase the distance in my walks. I hope to eventually get up to 5 miles (approx. 8 km) a day, three times a week. From what I have discovered, the two videos I have mentioned here are the only full-length Leslie Sansone videos that are currently available on You Tube. There may be more out there, but I haven't taken the time to do a whole lot of searching.

If you are looking to add physical activity to your life, but you're not into jumpy, bouncy-type exercise programs, I highly recommend Leslie Sansone. She incorporates working on your core muscles and upper body as well. You don't need a lot of physical space to participate. I have an area in my office that is about 2 feet. by 5 feet and that's all the space I use.

One other thing I've done over the past week is to drink more water and intake less calories after supper. I must admit I'm not much of a water-drinker (bad, I know), so for now I have decided to replace 2 drinks (iced tea, juice, Diet Coke, etc.) that I normally would have consumed in a day, with water. So far I'm enjoying it, especially with the addition of a slice of lemon or lime.

Let me know if you try the walking program, and what results you've noticed. I've provided the links below. If they appear to be just a black screen, click on the screen and the video should come into view.

Happy walking!

Walking - Part 1: Start Quick & Easy

2011-03-12T00:05:00.001-07:00

Walking - Part 2: Burn Fat & Back It Down

2011-03-12T00:03:00.000-07:00

Paranoia

2011-03-10T07:53:00.004-07:00

paranoid adjective 1. (Informal) suspicious, worried, nervous, fearful, apprehensive, antsy.

For those of you who happened to read my blog yesterday, I had a post up entitled, The God Ultimatum. I removed it last night, several hours after I posted. I received one encouraging comment after writing the post, (thank-you) and suddenly became concerned about leaving the post out in cyberspace for the entire world to read. I guess you could say I was paranoid. Paranoid that someone might be able to figure out who my friend is that I refer to in the post, which could potentially hurt the person I was using to build my thoughts around. I guess I felt like I was "blog-gossiping", if there is such a thing. I may have to find another way to write on the topic, because I really wanted to get some feedback from my readers. However, I'm not sure how to do that without using the real-life example I shared.

When I was in high school, my math-algebra-chemistry-Gr. 12 homeroom teacher had a poster up in his classroom, which is where I obtained the above quote regarding paranoia. Unfortunately, I could not find an exact replica of the actual poster, but the words are the same. I'm not sure why, but for 20+ years, the words of this poster have stuck with me. I have lived life in a paranoid state at times, so maybe that's why the words of the poster decide to pop into my mind every now and then.

I recently removed another post that I wrote, for similar reasons already mentioned, but in the case of that post, it would have been an entire organizational structure that could have suffered as a result of my thoughts.

This is the part about blogging that I dislike the most--having to be careful about what is said, even though for me, writing my thoughts (typing my thoughts, actually) is like mini-therapy for me. Plus, I like to receive feedback from my readers on the topics I post about. I will never name names (unless of course it's me that I'm referring to:)), but I guess I feel like someone may be able to put two-and-two together and come up with names to go along with my references to actual people. Am I making too much of this? Are people really out there trying to figure out who or what I'm speaking of, or are they just interested in the thoughts behind my post, able to ignore the fact that real people are part of my writing? Do my readers even care who the posts are actually about? I'm not sure.

This whole process has also made me strongly consider making my blog private. I am not sure who even reads this blog . . . I mean, how interesting could my life really be, that people who don't even know me would want to explore my world? I'm not sure. I guess what is making me leary about having my blog public is the fact that I have "Followers" whom I don't know and they, as far as I can tell, don't even comment. So it begs the question, why are they following my blog? Just wondering.

Some questions to ponder. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

P.S. I'd love to hear your thoughts on private vs. public blogs.

Worth Quoting

2011-01-31T15:02:00.004-07:00

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered.
And lo, no one was there.
~Author Unknown~

"I choose gentleness... Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself. "
~Max Lucado~

Beatitudes

2011-01-29T10:43:00.006-07:00

Math Success!

2011-01-26T15:02:00.010-07:00

So, Mitchell had his first math test today after approximately one month of my teaching him. The test was from the actual Math Makes Sense curriculum that his former teacher so graciously provided to me. He got 95%. And the minor mistakes he made were just that--they were minor. In one question he placed the decimal incorrectly and in the other question he forgot to place the decimal at all. In all reality, he should have aced the test . . . obviously he didn't check it over as well as he thought he had. But he grasped the concepts and obviously learned something. I think I'm more excited than he is about how well he did.

Next, we're on to geometry. Oh joy:( Thankfully, my husband appears to be a geometry whiz:) I'm so grateful that he's willing to help!

The rest of Mitchell's courses are going very well. I really love the fact that our English Language Arts program revolves around literature--he loves to read, so this program is a great fit for him. All of our spelling, grammar, research skills, etc. branch off from a book he is assigned to read, or a passage from a book. Science is taking off - we've done many experiments as we are learning about Flight. Social Studies is where I find my enthusiasm lacking but that's probably because I'm still waiting on the curriculum to arrive. I had to delay that purchase for various reasons, so I've just been making my own material from Internet resources and I don't know that the activities always reflect a true grade 6 level--or maybe they just don't reflect my son's capabilities. I am really excited to get started on the history part of our social studies curriculum once it arrives. Ty is going to be learning it alongside us, which I think will be fun. We are learning about the history of the world - starting in Genesis.

My favorite part about homeschooling thus far (aside from the fact that my son is now emotionally safe and stable, and he is no longer suffering from the physical side-effects of anxiety), is the fact that there is flexibility with our schedule and it doesn't matter if we start school at 9 a.m. or 2 p.m. So long as we get the work done, both teacher and student are happy:)

I am loving this! And I am loving that my son is loving this!

WHAT I'VE LEARNED by Maya Angelou

2011-01-22T08:28:00.005-07:00

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Making Sense of Math - and other things . . .

2011-01-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

So, after the post I just wrote late last night, I think I need to fill in the space with something a little more positive--it's called Math Makes Sense. That's the new focus for today--teaching my son long-division using the old-school method that I was taught, because in this instance, the Math Makes Sense approach doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me:(

Have I ever told you how much I loathe math? I do. And yet, here I am, teaching my son something that he will need to know in order move on.

I am in my pyjamas. The house is a mess. Mitchell is in his pyjamas. The house is a mess. Ty is home from school today because he's not feeling well. There are so many things I normally would do on a day off from my regular job, but now that I'm homeschooling, those things are less of a priority. Mitchell's education is the priority. And I need to make the most of my days at home and use my time wisely. I welcome the challenge because my son is so important to me:)

Good day!

Maybe I Shouldn't Have Said Anything

2011-01-16T23:48:00.000-07:00

I have something called Feedjit, which allows me to gain insight into where my blog readers are located and at what time of day my blog was viewed by that person. I have no way to determine the actual identity of the person reading my blog, but since my last post, I can tell that many have read, but only two have commented, which leads me to believe that most of your are at a loss-for-words regarding my last post. It begs the question - do you have an opinion on this? Is the "silence" to be viewed as negative? Or maybe, my readers just don't care. I'm not sure.

But it's times like these where I really wonder why I blog.

If you are a faithful reader of my blog, please don't take any of this personally. I am just wondering what's going on . . . because usually when I write posts that are more deeply personal, I get more of a response than I have. For some reason this post is just not eliciting the type of response I was expecting.

God's Book Of Kim - Chapters of Revelation

2011-01-14T20:10:00.005-07:00

So, apparently I have located bits and pieces of the Book of Kim that I was looking for a while ago. You know, the one where I was hoping God would just lay it all out there for me, as in, what path I was to follow in certain areas of life (one area in particular that I have been questioning Him on for months). Well, after several months of listening for the Holy Spirit's leading, and then recognizing the work of the Holy Spirit in another person's life, some of the fog has been lifted and I now have more freedom to share about what's been going on around here the past few months and how certain change is shaping the lives of those who live under the same roof as me.

It is no secret to most people who have actually been able to have a live, face-to-face conversation with me about my change in job location this past year, that I was not enjoying the new job experience like I thought I would. About 8 weeks ago I was this close to throwing in the towel and looking for alternate work. My expectations of what my new position would be like were shattered the day I arrived at my new school, and it wasn't until a couple of weeks before Christmas that I truly began to appreciate and like my work again.

This Fall was a despondent time for me and I often found myself lamenting over my new job and almost resenting the fact that I had to work at all. I was also doing a lot of unhealthy and unfair comparisons between my current and former work placements, but as events in the past month have evolved, the reason I am where I am has been made more clear to me. I am very grateful that God allowed me to see a tiny glimpse of the "Big Picture" regarding my life. I think it was when I finally gave my job over to Him completely and accepted the fact that I was there for a purpose (whether or not it made sense to me or not), I began to appreciate my job and actually began to feel gratitude for the opportunity to have the experience I am having working where I am. I think I'll leave it at that, since I want to respect the boundaries of what would and would not be acceptable to share on my blog about work; however, I would really like to write a book someday, possibly entitled, "Tales from the Colony". In retrospect, some things that have happened were hilarious, even though at the time they weren't so pleasant to be a part of.

So that takes care of one chapter from The Book of Kim.

Another chapter surrounds the education that my children have received while attending a brick and mortar school. I am pretty sure I have eluded to the fact that my older son, Mitchell, has not had an easy time fitting in with his peers since we moved to our current location four years ago. He was part-way through grade 2 when we moved here, and based on his previous 2.5 years in the public education system at his first school, I had limited concern over his acceptance and ability to make and keep friends at the new location. In our former town he was a popular, well-liked kid with many friends. But that is not the case here. It has been very sad, frustrating and heartbreaking to watch the emotional demise of my child at the expense of another child's gain.

Here again, I want to be sensitive to my son as well as to others who are involved in the public education system. I still work in public education and as one friend of mine put it (she happens to be a teacher), "The school organization is a wonderful thing, as long as everything works." That is true. And there are many, many wonderful schools and teachers and I do not want to discredit their work. But for my son, the school organization has not been working for four years, and as a result, we are now homeschooling Mitchell for the remainder of his grade 6 year and plan to continue until God directs us otherwise.

Of course, living in a small town comes with the challenge that everyone thinks our business is their business, and our decision to do this has raised many eyebrows and fortunately for me, I really don't care what any of the inhabitants of our community have to say about our decision or what they think about it. I know there are those who don't believe the bullying was that bad and there are those who do actually see where we are coming from because it's happened to one of their children as well. We have no intention of creating a debate on the subject of homeschooling, bullying, teacher competence at our school or anything of that sort. Our main objective is to provide emotional safety for our son which he was not receiving at school or on the bus. He experienced emotional, social and at times, physical bullying. As parents it is our responsibility to keep our children safe and that is why we have chosen to do this. I know some people think we did this in haste, but we didn't. I honestly cannot remember when I've spent so much time in prayer deliberating over a decision, listening for God's guidance and direction.

Since we decided to teach Mitchell at home, his demeanor has changed. The anger and frustration he formerly directed towards us as parents and his younger brother has decreased dramatically. I can't say that Mitchell and Ty no longer argue or fight. They do. They're brothers, and I think that's just part of being brothers. However, Mitchell's spirit seems lighter--like a heavy load has been lifted off him because he doesn't have to face the bullies anymore. He doesn't have to constantly be defending his side of the story. He doesn't have to walk on eggshells every time he steps onto the bus to get to school. A part of him is now free and it is so refreshing to see.

Due to the nature of our removal of Mitchell from the public school system, we have opted to continue with counselling provided to us by our local school division. His former teacher has been great with making herself available to us to answer any questions we may have and has offered materials for us to use as well. A large part of my Christmas break was spent putting together the final details regarding curriculum, filling out legal paperwork, coming up with our philosophy and determining educational goals for the remainder of the year. It has felt overwhelming at times, but I am very grateful for my sister and some other friends who are home-based educators. They have provided me with a wealth of knowledge and have been very supportive to us throughout the process.

For now I will continue working at my job until the end of June, which averages 15 hours per week. With my flexibility in scheduling and the fact that my husband is a shift-worker, we have been able to establish a routine for Mitchell in which one of us is available to him as he is homeschooled. Once July comes we'll need to evaluate where things are at and whether or not my current job will come available in September again or not. My position has suffered cuts to hours every year since I began my job and I'm not sure if I want to continue in a setting where job security is so volatile. The exciting thing for me is that I'm not too stressed about this and I know that God has all the details worked out already.

So yes, change is upon us. So far we are managing quite well. Mitchell is very dedicated to his work and is excited to be doing this. I am excited too. I never thought it would come to this, but I believe that God has been preparing me to become a homeschooling parent for the last four years. He has given me the opportunity to work in an educational environment where I have gained many skills that I wouldn't otherwise have. He has given me a position in which I have flexibility to accommodate the needs of my family for which I am grateful. He has given me a child who is smart and easy to teach. He has given me a husband who, five months ago, was opposed to the idea of homeschooling--but God changed His heart and Wayne is in full support of homeschooling Mitchell.

I am truly in awe over God's love for me and especially His love for my children. They are a gift from God and as I follow Him in obedience, God will bless us for trusting Him to know what's best for our kids.

That's all I can write for now. I'm sure I'll have many adventures to share along the way. If any of you are homeschooling parents, and have some sage advice for me, please, by all means, send it my way:)

2011 . . . Has A Nice Ring To It . . . Don't You Think?

2011-01-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year everyone!

Change appears to be the theme for 2011 around here . . . more on that when I have time to write a decent post about what the new year holds for us:)

Merry CHIRSTmas!

2010-12-21T20:07:00.002-07:00

Keeping CHRIST in Christmas . . .
Merry Christmas to you all!

Wayne, Kim

Mitchell & Tyrone

Oh December, How I Love Thee!

2010-12-05T15:32:00.006-07:00

December is my favorite month of the year. It means Christmas. And Christmas rocks my world. Not only because of the decorations, food, time spent with family and giving gifts . . . it's more than that. MUCH more. It is a celebration to remember the birth of my Savior, Jesus, who humbly entered the world to ultimately pay the price for my sins . . . for your sins, by His death on the cross; and His resurrection three days later means that I now serve and worship a LIVING God.

A few years ago one of my colleagues commented on a Faith Hill Christmas program she had watched on television the night before. Faith's closing song was called, A Baby Changes Everything. My colleague stated that she thought the song was stupid because "babies don't change things". I was not actually a part of this conversation, but I overheard her make these comments to someone else. I did nothing to follow-up on an opportunity I may have had to explain to her exactly who that baby is in Faith Hill's song. And even if it weren't Jesus that Faith was singing about, I do believe that every baby changes the lives of those around them. Babies, whether God's son, my own son or my best friend's daughter, DO, in fact, change everything.

The baby Faith Hill refers to in her song DID change the world the day He was born--not only for his mother Mary, but for ALL mankind. He is my savior and I love him so. He died for me. And He died for you. It doesn't matter what path you are currently on, He is there, waiting for you to trust in Him and make him part of your life. Can you hear Him knocking on your heart?

I truly hope that this December, beyond all the busyness and expectations you and others put on you--to be at the party, to give the perfect gift, to bake a dozen different types of cookies, to sing the right songs . . . . that you will recognize the reason behind all of it--Jesus. He makes life worth living!

A Baby Changes Everything

Faith Hill

Teenage girl, much too young

Unprepared for what's to come

A baby changes everything

Not a ring

On her hand

All her dreams and all her plans

A baby changes everything

The man she loves she's never touched

How will she keep his trust

A baby changes everything

And she cries, oh she cries

She has to leave, go far away

Heaven knows she can't stay

A baby changes everything

She can feel it's coming soon

There's no place, there's no room

A baby changes everything

And she cries and she cries O she cries

Shepherds all gather 'round

Up above the star shines down

A baby changes everything

Choir of Angels say

Glory to the newborn king

My whole life has turned around

I was lost but now I'm found

A baby changes everything

everything, everything, every day

Hallelujah!

The Most Ambiguous Post I've Ever Written

2010-11-18T18:35:00.007-07:00

I don't even know where to start.

A year ago I was having one of the best years of my life. Currently, I am not.

A lot of my issues have to do with something that I'm not at liberty to discuss openly on this blog, due to privacy issues. Believe me, if I could, I'd spill it all. But I can't. Let's just say it's related to something that I must do, but don't want to do. It's affecting my attitudes towards the people I love in my life and to put it bluntly, it sucks.

I am seeking God's guidance and direction in two significant areas of life right now and it's times like this where I wish my Book of Kim--This Is What I Want You To Do With Your Life Right Now (Love: God) actually existed. I know I have access to a guidebook for life--The Bible; however, I'm not getting as much specific direction from it as I'd like. The beauty of free-will doesn't seem so beautiful to me right now.

I have some passions growing inside of me that, if unleashed, could produce something grand if successful; but if unsuccessful, these passions could be my demise. I apologize for the ambiguity, but without getting into what specifically is causing upheaval in my world right now, it's difficult to fully explain.

This post is confusing even me, so if it's confusing you, take heart. Even the author of this post doesn't quite get it. I'm going to go look for that Book of Kim . . . now. On second-though, my B-I-B-L-E would be a better choice.

Another New Look

2010-11-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

So, I've changed the look of my blog again--not in order to pay tribute to the season that is rapidly approaching (winter--my favorite season) but rather, to try to lift my spirits. I love the colors of this template and I really need to have my space full of bright colors since my world isn't so bright right now. I've got lots to write about but it just never seems to get posted to this blog. I'll try harder . . . when I feel like it.

Lest We Forget . . .

2010-11-11T08:30:00.001-07:00

Fall Colors and Changing Seasons

2010-10-22T09:16:00.008-06:00

You may have noticed I changed the look of my blog. This was done in order to pay tribute to the season we are currently experiencing in the Prairies . . . Fall!

I enjoy Fall because of the cooler temperatures, the return of routine and the beautiful leaves that change from green to varying shades of orange, yellow, red and brown.

I am learning to embrace each new season as it comes along. I've always said winter is my favorite season, and it still ranks slightly above the other three, but this year I have made a conscious effort to see the positive in every season.

Life is full of different seasons too . . . there are seasons ahead of me that I wish I could avoid; and there are seasons I've already experienced that were better than I thought they'd be, but still, some have been more difficult than others. Whatever season you currently find yourself it, I hope you are putting your trust in God, allowing Him to guide you through it.

Happy Birthday, Wayne!

2010-10-12T08:48:00.001-06:00

Today is my husband's 42nd birthday. The photo above was taken last summer while we were visiting my sister in Northern Alberta. Wayne loves horses -- this is my sister's horse, Joey, nicely posing with Wayne. I wish I could tell you that I was able to buy him a horse for his birthday, but that is just not the case. Both he and Mitchell would love to have horses, but in all reality, I don't think it's a good idea for us right now.

I have now known my husband for 14 years. He has always provided for us and works hard at his job. He is very handy with vehicles, renos, repairs, maintenance and other things that other wives might have to call professionals in for. He is a great father to our boys and he has instilled in them a love for the outdoors, firearms, and getting dirty.

We've been through a lot of good times and bad times together. I know I can always count on my husband to be there for me. I love you, Wayne . . . and I pray that God grants you many more years as you follow the path He has laid out before you.

2010-10-11T07:00:00.002-06:00

Upwards and Onwards

2010-10-10T21:09:00.004-06:00

September was a difficult month for me.

Transitions for all of us were not easy--the boys with school . . . me with my job relocation . . . changes in all of our schedules--going from total relaxation to total mayhem. It was tough.

And in the middle of this, my small, but impactful accident happened.

I'm glad it's October. Things are finally starting to settle down. The boys have finished their season of Cross-Country running. Mitchell's volleyball season is coming to a close in a couple of weeks. He starts extra band practices this week and will also be involved in Tae Quan Do on a weekly basis; Ty's got swimming lessons for 5 weeks starting at the end of October, so yes, we still are busy, but somehow things feel like they are slowing down. Maybe they're not really--maybe we are all just coping better.

My face is almost completely healed--no more obvious bruising, but I've still got a decent-sized bump on my temple, and my eyelid is still somewhat swollen. However, I am on my way to recovery with regular trips to the chiropractor and massage therapist. I do have a confirmed case of whiplash . . . I didn't realize how bad it was until I started getting "fixed". Does that make sense? My chiropractor has been excellent at developing a program that is going to restore my body back to the way it should be, and massage therapy is helping too. Plus, I was approved for an injury claim through my insurance company, which I didn't think I'd qualify for since it was a hit-and-run. My insurance will cover the cost of my treatment, plus reimburse me for mileage to and from my medical appointments. Unfortunately, the police will be unable to investigate the actual accident any further, due to the fact that I have very little information to provide them with. They were very sympathetic to my situation, though, and I have received excellent "customer service" from them throughout the entire process. Some businesses could learn a thing or two from our city police, with regards to how to treat people properly.

That's about all I can tell you. I have so much more to write about--many post topics are swirling in my head of late . . . hopefully I'll have more time before the end of this month to share what's on my mind. Lots of cool stuff--I see God's hand in everything going on in my life, and that's exciting! He is not dead--HE IS ALIVE and AT WORK!

Sewing Update

2010-10-04T13:13:00.004-06:00

I have finally had time to update my sewing blog, Mission: Sew- Possible! Click on the link to see what I've been up to!

Eleven

2010-09-24T01:55:00.002-06:00

Eleven years ago today I gave birth to my first-born. For the past couple of weeks I've been re-living the events leading up to Mitchell's birth (in my mind) and it is so hard to believe that so much time has passed since he entered the world.

Mitchell has been one of God's greatest gifts to me. Little does he know how much he has changed my life.

I LOVE YOU, MITCHELL! Happy Birthday!

Mother's Day 2010

Cheesecake Friday

2010-09-17T14:33:00.001-06:00

Tonight is the first of many (I hope) Cheesecake Fridays which I am hosting in my home. I have invited 34 women--very important women--women who have impacted me in some way. Friends is what I call them. Tonight there will be 18 of us enjoying Saskatoonberry Chiffon Cheesecake and/or Triple Citrus Cheesecake. And of course there will be other food as well . . . I can hardly wait!

Lightening the Load

2010-09-09T22:45:00.002-06:00

My September activity load seems to be lightening a bit, for which I am thankful.

Somehow God is working out some things without me doing a whole lot of trying, which is good, because right now my physical health is taking its toll on me in a way that I could not have predicted a few weeks back.

The good news is: Mitchell's sports are either ending sooner or starting later than originally planned; I've got one less respite weekend to provide due to unforeseen circumstances in my foster mom friend's life; many other parents have volunteered to help out with The Bridge ministry at our church--and September's event is all ready to go; my little something involving cheesecake is proceeding as planned, which I am really looking forward to--I almost postponed its debut until next month due to my anxiety level, but I felt an internal prompting to make it happen despite how overwhelmed I feel; my work schedule has decreased and I now have a more stable pattern of working Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, which means I get 5-day weekends pretty-much all the time; it's been raining here for the last couple of days, so pressure to work outside is non-existent. There's not a lot I can do in these wet conditions; and I just feel less overwhelmed in general, which is a bonus.

I am experiencing peace and am looking forward to the many events that still lie ahead this month! I am trying to rest my body as much as possible since my little accident (even though my mind is not at rest). Tomorrow I'm having a day to myself--getting my hair cut, meeting a friend for lunch, having a massage--yes, it's going to be a great day!

Set-Backs and Rear-Enders

2010-09-08T09:23:00.002-06:00

If you haven't already figured it out by now, I'm going to tell you something you may or may not already know: I haven't had the best 2 weeks of my life recently. And it just got a bit worse.

I had a work-related meeting yesterday afternoon close to the big city. The boys were staying at my best friend's house for the afternoon while I attended the meeting. On the way to pick them up, I was involved in a minor vehicle accident. I was rear-ended and suffered some injuries to my face, neck and also my back, which I am only beginning to feel today.

What happened at the time of the accident is a bit of a blur to me, but thankfully I had enough sense to know that I had to get my vehicle out of the way so that the beginnings of rush-hour traffic would not be slowed down. Thinking that the person who hit me knew they hit me and would offer to exchange information for insurance purposes, I pulled over to the side of the road and out of the main flow of traffic as soon as possible. I could immediately feel immense pain on the left side of my face and particularly at my left temple, but I was trying to be as diligent and responsible as possible after the accident, so I ignored it and got the car safely parked on the side of the street. I got out of my car, thinking that the person who hit me would immediately follow. That was not the case. They drove away! There is no way they didn't know they hit me. They left an imprint of their front license plate in the dust on my bumper! And while I do not know if they intentionally hit me or not, I get the feeling that from their actions following the hit, they in fact meant to hit me. The police are classifying this as a hit and run vehicular accident, but because I don't have much supporting evidence and apparently no other witnesses to the accident, there isn't much they can do to find the person who hit me. The only thing I know about the vehicle is that it was white--very white--very clean, and it was either a PT Cruiser or an HHR. I don't even know if the driver was male or female. But what I do know is that they hurt me and have done nothing to make amends. They haven't even acknowledged what they've done! That hurts!

I saw a doctor after visiting the police station and aside from taking pain-killers and icing my wound, there isn't a whole lot more that can be done. I have taken the day off from work because my eye is almost completely swollen shut this morning, and my driving with only one good eye doesn't seem very responsible to me. Plus, I'm still in quite a bit of pain and my back is now starting to feel the effects of the accident.

I would say that this is a set-back for me in so many ways. While I am trying to stay positive about the changes going on in my life, this just makes me feel worse about everything. I should be at work but now I might be out for several more days. I need to be there so that I can get into the groove. My house is in upheaval right now because over the weekend Wayne installed more flooring. He's almost done our flooring project--only 64 more square feet to install in our second entrance way. I've been rearranging furniture and had every intention of sewing curtains this afternoon after work, but that will now need to be put on hold. Our surplus of items that were being stored in the office now need to find new homes as well. But that means carrying boxes up and down stairs and doing a lot of work with my arms/shoulders and right now that isn't possible. By today I wanted to have our office back to normal condition; but with my extended stay in the city last night due to a visit to the doctor and police station, NOTHING was accomplished yesterday; and now I'm not sure when I'll feel up to getting back at it. My mind says "Yes, do it," but my body tells me otherwise.

I know I need to rest. And I need to ice my wound some more. But when I see everything around me that is creating a sense of chaos, I have a hard time leaving it alone.

I guess I'm feeling a bit helpless right now and am lacking understanding as to how I am to make the most of this situation. Please pray that I have a speedy recovery and that there are no long-term effects on my body due to the accident.

Here are some photos of my face for your enjoyment. The first two were taken last night, about 6 hours after the accident. Today my face is not as puffy, but rather, more purple. A beautiful shade of purple--the last picture is how it's looking today :( The last picture shows how it's progressed . . . day 4 (Saturday, Sept. 11/10).

Above photos: 6 hours after the accident.

The day after the accident . . . on day 3 it was even more purple

but I didn't take any pictures that day :(

This is what it looks like on day 4.

500 Posts Came and Went

2010-09-03T10:42:00.005-06:00

I've been updating some things (see my pages above--I've got most of them done--finally) on my blog today and realized that my 500th post has come and gone. My 500th post was this one.

No fanfare. No fireworks. Just the reality of life as it comes and goes. Honestly, could I have written a more "normal" post than that one? The one about changes in life and how life changes whether we want it to or not. I didn't receive a single comment on that post so it must have been really boring!

So here I am on my 503rd post and wow, does it ever feel good. I wish I could say I were on my 1000th post because when I originally started this blog I wanted to write way more than I have. I'm coming up on my 4th Bloggiversary soon. Hopefully I don't miss it too!

Thanks to all of my faithful readers! I know I have threatened to shut this blog down in the past, but I feel compelled to keep going with it. I find tremendous satisfaction in writing and this is a place where I can write and not be graded. I can be honest and open and most of you have been kind enough to encourage me along the way, for which I am grateful. This blog has also been a place for me to chronicle some important events in our family. Maybe someday I'll publish it in hard-copy form. Did you know you can do that? I think it's pretty amazing. Yes, I think I just might do that some day.

So, Happy 503rd Post, Mission: Kim-Possible!

Better Late Than Never

2010-09-02T15:37:00.001-06:00

I know I am a week late with posting these pictures of the boys' first day of school but for the sake of posterity, I am still going to do it. Neither one of them had a great first day but then again, neither did I and it happened to be my birthday that day too:(

Ty--starting grade 4. His backback is so heavy he can't even stand straight!

Mitchell--starting grade 6. He had so much stuff it wouldn't all

fit into his new messenger bag!

Does it Really Need to be Like THIS?

2010-08-31T19:09:00.027-06:00

Update: Thankfully, things are not going to be quite as busy as I thought they were going to be in September. One of the sports is not starting until October, and some end sooner than I thought they would. I feel somewhat better now . . . it's still going to be busy, but slightly less busy!

NOTE: If this post lacks coherence, please forgive me. My brain is fried.

And I already know that my grammar is far from perfect :(

For some reason I am feeling VERY overwhelmed today. I can't exactly pinpoint what it is . . . I guess there are various factors that have contributed to my feeling this way, and I think most of it has to do with the fact that school and extra curricular activities have started or will be starting soon. We as a family have been doing some collective soul searching on the topic of education in the past week, which has personally left my head spinning. Perhaps I'll blog more on that at a later date, but it all comes down to this at the moment: Life is busy. September is busy. It makes me tired just looking at the calendar!

Here is a brief synopsis of how this month is going to shape up: Aside from the fact that I've started a "new" job in a sense, I'm also currently working more hours than I originally had hoped for the month of September. My contract allows for 15 hours per week on average, but for the next while it will be more like 20-25 hours that I'll be working just to get into the swing of things at the new school. In a couple of weeks it will die down to the 15 hours per week that it is supposed to be. And I've been assured that I won't end up working more hours than I'm getting paid for, which I really appreciate at my new work placement. There are no expectations above and beyond the regular scheduled hours of work. But believe me, the 5 hours I'm there each day already does me in!

The boys are both going to be starting cross-country running at their school, which runs for about 3-4 weeks during the month of September. On top of this, Mitchell has volleyball practice twice a week plus the potential for Saturday tournaments or some after-school games. He's also in band again this year, and he travels to a neighboring community once a week for a 1.5 hour practice with other band students from various towns; on the same day as band, he has Tae Quon Do, which will be starting in the third week of September. He also has the Bridge event at church, which happens to fall right on his birthday! This is a monthly event which he thoroughly enjoys.

Thankfully, since Ty is still too young to be involved in as many school activities as Mitchell, his schedule is not quite so demanding. His only activity for September is cross-country running. I was going to start him in swimming lessons next week, but I quickly realized that with all of Mitchell's extra-curr there is no way I could incorporate swimming at this time. So, Ty will be starting swimming the third week of October; hopefully after all of Mitchell's volleyball is over and done with.

In addition to what the boys do, I have my own activities to participate in as well. I've mentioned this in a previous blog post-- I've got a mentoring relationship that I'm a part of (in which I am mentoring someone younger), and I am also involved in the BOOK Club at church. I also hold the chairperson position for our church's children program known as The Bridge, (which I eluded to earlier). On top of all that I've decided to start my own little something which I've been planning all summer. I won't reveal all the details on that just yet, but watch for it in a future post. I'll give you a hint. It's got something to do with cheesecake! And it's something that I really feel I need to initiate.

And in case you didn't know, my husband is a shift-worker and therefore basically not really part of our lives for 2 weeks out of each month . . .when he's home during the day he's sleeping, so we really only have Sundays together on those weeks that he's working the evening shift. We happen to be right in the midst of that right now, which is probably why I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm single-parenting!

Oh, I just thought of something else that I've committed myself to doing once a month, and that is providing respite to a foster mom friend of mine for her foster boys aged 5 and 7. Except this month I'll be having them in my care for 2 weekends instead of one because I didn't have them during the summer at all and the foster mom wants to make up for "lost" weekends. I've been doing this for over a year now and it's gone quite well. Her kids adjust to our way of living for the weekend and the boys enjoy playing with the foster kids.

So, there you have it. This might explain why I feel overwhelmed. And please, don't get me wrong. As far as my boys are concerned, I'm glad that they are able to become involved in various extra-curricular activities. They seem to enjoy the madness, but to be honest, as soon as I arrive home from work I am already looking forward to bedtime. Unfortunately, in between arriving home and going to bed there is all the regular life stuff that still needs to be taken care of . . . meals, laundry, cleaning, etc. etc. And while I do realize they are involved in A LOT, September is the only month that some of these activities take place, so it's not like every month is like this!

I can't wait for November, because I think then our lives will finally slow down a bit.

Change is Good?

2010-08-29T21:42:00.006-06:00

Many people think change is good. Until recently, I've never really analyzed how change affects me (on more of an emotional level). I guess if I were to be completely honest with myself (and you), I'd have to say that I'm more likely to fight change than to embrace it. Some change, like adding children to my life, was a welcomed change. I did not struggle to find my new role as a mom; it came very naturally for me. Caring for my first newborn did not create undue stress and anxiety for me. It gave me a new purpose and created a new adventure. I enjoyed it. And still do :)

Moving from our townhouse located in a city, to our very first house in a neighboring community seemed to happen quite seamlessly. I was excited to move away from the city and into a smaller centre. I enjoyed the transition from a small townhouse to a larger home. I didn't feel overwhelmed with making the transition. Granted, when we moved from that house to where we currently live (on the acreage), I'd have to say that my anxiety level was higher and I was more uncertain about things than I was in our move 8 years prior. I think that had to do with the fact that I was moving so far away from what was familiar to me, and I didn't know anyone in the area, plus my boys were starting school in a new location and as you already know, I'm really into my kids; so yes, I'd have to say that the last move we faced had more challenges for me personally, but still, inevitably the change felt good. We had achieved one of our goals, and that was to live in the country. And in a house larger than the one we had before. Check and double-check!

But here is where I "change" gears and confess that the recent change in where I am employed has taken me to a new place. I came to the realization today that what I am experiencing is, in fact, culture shock. I am no longer working in a mainstream school. I now work in a whole new world. And whether I think it's good or bad is beside the point. The point is, I am struggling to accept this change and I long to go back to what I believe to be "normal"; when in all reality, that would not "normal" for the community in which I am now teaching in. I have entered the world of communal living. This in itself has many benefits. And I have great respect and admiration for the culture in which I find myself. I'm just going to need some time to process this new culture and figure out how my gifts can best be used in this environment, and ultimately, embrace the change. Embrace it as something good. Yes, it's different; but I need to also accept that it is also good. That is my challenge.

Prayer Warriors Needed

2010-08-27T07:00:00.004-06:00

Hi all. I don't have time to write a long post about things going on in my life at the moment, but I would really appreciate your prayers on our behalf.

Thanks!

P.S. Please ignore the fact that I spelled "Warriors" incorrectly when I initially posted. I spelled it "Warriers" which just goes to show that my mind is definitely not in a good state right now.

Celebrating My First Anniversary of Being 37

2010-08-26T07:07:00.004-06:00

Can you guess what day it is?

That's right . . . It's the one day of the year where wrinkles are analyzed. So, go ahead: Analyze this!

The Last Straw

2010-08-25T09:27:00.002-06:00

My straw bale garden and straw potatoes experiment worked. We have been enjoying produce from our peas, cucumbers, peppers and herbs. We dug up a couple of potato plants last week and were pleasantly surprised (not really--I was pretty sure this was going to work) by delicious potatoes. However, we are going to let the potatoes grow for a few more weeks before we harvest them all.

Here are some photos of the end result . . . I promise, I won't post any more pictures about this garden. And it is very likely that we won't be gardening at all next year. While the straw bale garden was much less work than a "regular" garden, we've decided that we may not have a garden at all next year. Honestly, I have not an ounce of green in my thumbs and find the process of gardening and flower-bedding to be more stress than it's worth. There are people out there who actually enjoy gardening. I'm not one of them. I wish I were, but I'm not. I've got enough to keep up with in this yard between mowing and trimming grass, and keeping on top of the weeds in my flowerbeds.

Straw potato patch.

Potatoes ready for harvest.

The entire row of straw bales.

Peas

Pumpkins

Cucumber

Cucumbers

Tomatoes

Parsley

More tomatoes

Banana Peppers

Cadbury~~You Made My Day!

2010-08-24T07:20:00.005-06:00

A few months ago I purchased some large chocolate bars, probably with the intent to use them for making smores this summer, but I can't say for certain what my original intent was. One of those bars didn't make it into the hands of anyone but me. That's because I'm a HUGE fan of dark chocolate. And I just could not resist eating an entire 100g Cadbury Premium Dark Chocolate bar all by myself. For the record, I did not eat it all in one sitting. I ate one or two squares per day until it was all gone. The day I ate the last piece was a sad day indeed.

I know that chocolate is now supposedly "good" for humans--dark chocolate, that is. And that's fine by me because of all the chocolate options, dark chocolate has always been my preference. But what I think is absolutely hilarious is that on the wrapper of this particular chocolate bar, there is a little (and I mean little--you practically need a magnifying glass to read it), oval-shaped purple caption that reads: To be enjoyed as part of a healthy, active lifestyle. Hmmm . . . healthy and active. Well, dark chocolate is supposedly healthy for me, so that's taken care of. Active? Well, I was "active" while stretching my arm to reach the very highest cupboard in the house in order to obtain the chocolate bar. Does chewing count as "active"? I hope so because I did that too.

This has been (yet) another reminder of the fact that our society is in poor health. First it was putting warnings on cigarette boxes to alert people to the potential health risks of smoking. Now there are warnings on chocolate bar wrappers. Well, would you actually call that ("To be enjoyed as part of a healthy, active lifestyle.") a warning? I think it was more of a recommendation.

Go eat some dark chocolate today. But please, do it while you're exercising :)

Reasons Why

2010-08-23T14:11:00.002-06:00

Pursuant to my last post, I was thinking that perhaps I led everyone to believe that I think there is no benefit to my children "growing up". On the contrary, I've spent the last couple of days attempting to view their development as a positive thing, not negative.

Here are some random Reasons Why I am okay with them growing up:

1. They can make their own breakfast. This is a huge time saver for me in the mornings.
2. They do not require me to change their diapers, since they mastered potty-training quite some time ago; They can also dress themselves.
3. They can help out with yard work. The boys have assumed the role of lawn-mower personnel this summer. It has been SO helpful.
4. They can fold and put away their own laundry.
5. They can help entertain their younger cousins.
6. They can communicate with me--I don't have to take a guess at what their cries are about--they pretty much always tell me.
7. They can be left unattended for short periods of time . . . they do not follow me around the house constantly, asking, "What are you doing?".
8. They can help take care of our pets.
9. They can run their own showers or baths.
10. They can play more complex board games with the family.
11. They can wash their own hands before and after a meal.
12. They don't freak out every time their mother leaves their sight.
13. They sleep through the night.

I really have enjoyed being an active participant in my boys' lives as they've grown up to this point. But I get the feeling that the last 9-11 years has been a cakewalk compared to what is coming . . .

I Am No Longer "Mommy"

2010-08-21T18:55:00.002-06:00

For the past two weeks I've been struggling emotionally with the changes that are taking place around me--mostly about my not being in the same school building as my children in the year ahead. Don't get me wrong--I'm very grateful that I still have a part-time job doing the work that I love; I am excited to pursue something new at a different school. But there's a part of me that strongly wishes I were physically present in the same school as my boys for 3 hours a day like I was last year.

Mitchell will be 11 years old in just over a month. Yes, he's becoming a tween. What comes along with this, I suppose, is a new-found sense of independence on his part, while I am interally balking it every step of the way. I know he's supposed to keep growing up. I just don't want him to. And I'm beginning to realize that perhaps my continued longing for another baby (yes, I still have that longing, even though I wrote about "Baby Train Derailment" 3 years ago . . .) is the fact that I personally am having trouble watching my children grow up; with each day comes less dependence on me while the boys seek to figure things out for themselves. I honestly do not like it. So, you heard it here first. I'm having trouble ripping out even one stitch of the apron strings. I admit it. I am that type of mother.

My husband is having a hard time understanding me at the moment, particularly with regards to why I'm struggling so much with the boys growing up. I've talked to a couple of my friends about this issue and it seems that I am not alone in this struggle; and their husbands also do not understand . . . which has brought me to one conclusion: it's a Mom Thing.

Part of my feelings also stem from the fact that I am finding the future of my children rather unsettling. As the boys become older, they will need to draw their own conclusions about God and His presence in and purpose for their lives. We are doing the best we can to teach them to live for Jesus, but ultimately it will be their choice. I cannot think of anything more heartbreaking for a parent than to be aware of their child's decision to reject Christ. Unfortunately, Wayne and I are living through this heartbreak as we witness my stepson rejecting the truth he once knew.

Other issues include the following:

There is so much talk of obesity in children/adults due to lack of physical activity; there is so much talk of the "information highway" taking over our lives, and as a result, the brains of children are not necessarily developing as they should be; there is so much talk over kids becoming involved in adult-like recreational activities, which gets in the way of a child truly experiencing a normal childhood. But really, what is a normal childhood? For me, it was playing will dolls until I was 12 and Barbies until I was 13. What girl does that anymore? Hopefully, more than I think. I truly believe that in general, kids are growing up way too fast and their childhoods are being robbed from them due to many factors . . . and there are many. But one thing I have observed in my own little world is that kids are expected to become "adults" too soon--and it has left them lacking the enjoyment of a fulfilling childhood--not to mention, the skills necessary to make appropriate choices.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want my boys to be boys for as long as they can. And when my almost-11-year-old declared that I am no longer "Mommy", but rather, "Mom", it became a tad unnerving. I know that this instance in itself does not indicate that he is no longer a child. It's just that one constant reminder in my daily life that he is growing up. And I've got to start stitch-ripping those apron strings--one at a time--before it's too late.

Sneak Peak

2010-08-17T10:50:00.009-06:00

After finishing up Ty's tiger-themed room, I moved on to paint in Mitchell's room. His theme: Star Wars. I'm still waiting on some decorative touches to arrive, but here's a sneak peak at what's been accomplished up to this point.

In a galaxy, far, far away . . .

The bedding, without the pillows (long story);

Lime Pop wall intersects with Licorice Stick wall

and a white ceiling;

Wall art courtesy of a Bianca Amor's Liquidation Centre;

Wall decal that is on order--this is what I'm waiting for! It's quite large and will be centered on the red wall.

Mitchell's Lava Lamp--complimenting the existing

colors of the room.

Aside from the Star Wars logo, I've got some other finishing touches to put up as well, but I'll save those for my final reveal. It may be a few weeks before I post the final results, but it's been really fun to put this room together. We've rearranged Mitchell's furniture and reorganized his "stuff" in order to accommodate the changes. It's amazing what a "new" room will do to inspire keeping it neat and tidy.

Ty-ger! Ty-ger!

2010-08-13T21:48:00.009-06:00

We moved here 3.5 years ago. Ty was given wonderful tiger bedding from my mom when we moved. Ty's room was to turn into a tiger-themed room. My plan was to start painting his room in a tiger theme shortly after we moved in. But alas, here it is, this many years later and it's finally been done. Better late than never!

Ty is super-thrilled with his room. I wasn't too optimistic about how it was all going to turn out, but I must say, if I were a 9-year old boy (and a boy who LOVES animals, especially tigers), I'd be pretty excited about sleeping in my "new" room. That's what he calls it--his NEW room.

Here are the pictures. (Sorry, no "before" pictures to compare with. The wall colors were the same color as the ceiling--if you are able to tell from the photos--a sort of taupe color (rather boring for a boy with Ty's demeanor--orange is a much better choice for him!).

Ty's Tiger Room--finally finished!!!!

This is the wall opposite the foot of his bunk-bed. It took a lot of time to paint all the tiger stripes--I bought a stencil on-line from Jan Dressler Stencils--a very good quality product;

the tigers above the window frame are stick-ups

that I bought at The Dollar Store.

Tiger bedding ensemble--Ty loves his bedding!

The color of the wall that the bunk bed is against is

coal blue--a compliment to the orange fiesta.

Ty lounging in is new room with "Hobbes", his stuffed tiger.

Doesn't his tiger look real?

I bought these framed prints at a liquidation centre

over a year ago, in hopes of finally getting Ty's

Tiger Room finished.

This wall is just orange, to off-set the crazy tiger stripes.

I love these stick-ups. They fit perfectly above the window;

Ty says they are about to fight.

Their names must be Mitchell and Ty.

Good-night from "Calvin and Hobbes"!

*Double-click on the images if you want to enlarge them.

"Icon"-ic Issue Resolved

2010-07-25T16:03:00.006-06:00

For the past several years, I've been using a website called "The Cutest Blog on the Block" to obtain interesting and unique templates for my blog. I've always thought that Blogger had rather boring choices when it came to templates. I got rid of my "CB on the B" templates today on both this blog and my sewing blog, because I had a suspicion that they were the cause of the problem I eluded to in yesterday's post. As soon as I removed the template, the weird icon was gone. It appears that "CB on the B" has re-vamped their website, which is probably why I've been having issues.

Over the past few months, I've noticed the new "Design" category on my tabs whenever I use Blogger Dashboard; however, upon initial inspection I thought the new template designs were still lacking in originality . . . that is, until I started monkeying around today and made some interesting discoveries. There are WAY more choices now and you can create your own designer template without having to know much about HTML or Javascript, which is a bonus for me because really, I have no idea what those words even stand for. I just know enough to NOT fool around with a lot of that stuff if I want a normal-looking blog.

So, here is my new look . . . there is a transparent setting which enables a background picture to be seen "behind the words"; and there are lots of pictures to choose from for that. I've made changes to my sewing blog as well, but I chose a more basic template which I made little or no changes to.

I'm just very thankful that my iconic issue has been resolved, even if it meant changing my template, which I really liked; but it was time for a change around here anyway. I hope you like the new look!

Do You See What I See?

2010-07-24T23:09:00.000-06:00

For all of you readers out there, I've got a question: What do you see when you load my blog onto your computer screen? For the past few days I've got this little "box" telling me something about a photo from photo-bucket not being available, blah, blah, blah . . . my Cutest Blog on the Block background does not appear and I can barely read my sidebar items due to the fact that the font is extremely light. I just want to know . . . are you seeing what I'm seeing? Any comment would be helpful; also, if you know how to remedy this without totally messing up my blog, please let me know that as well.

Thanks so much!

The Same

2010-07-23T06:44:00.005-06:00

My Jesus

is the same

yesterday,

today,

and forever;

(no matter what uncertainties
or fears I currently face).

Hebrews 13:8

Friday's Feast #67

2010-07-16T08:51:00.008-06:00

Appetizer
Do you button shirts top-to-bottom or bottom-to-top?

Top-to-bottom.

Soup
What is your favorite sandwich?

Salami with lettuce, cheese, mayo and mustard. Egg salad comes in a close second-place.

Salad
What was a family project you helped work on as a child?

I can't really think of anything. I was only 3 years old when my parents were building their new house; perhaps I hammered one nail on that house? I'm not sure.

Main Course
When have you acted phony?

Once I had a job phoning Fabricland customers to advise them of upcoming sales. I had a script to read off of, and if I got to leave a message instead of speaking to the customer live, I would use a phony voice--very commercial-like. However, I didn't have the guts to get so dramatic when I spoke to the customer directly.

Dessert
Do you write letters or postcards? If so, to whom?

No, not usually . . . except I do write a Christmas letter every few Christmases to send along with our Christmas cards. It's too bad letters are going the way of the dinosaur . . . twenty years ago I wrote lots of letters to my Bible College friends. I still have all their return letters, which I occasionally read when I'm feeling nostalgic.

Minding and Mattering

2010-07-12T15:44:00.005-06:00

Friday's Feast #76

2010-07-09T20:57:00.002-06:00

Appetizer
Name one chore you don't really mind doing.

Washing the laminate floor with my Swiffer Sweeper. I love that I get to actually see how much dirt I've accumulated and I love that I get to throw all the dirt into the garbage!!!

Soup
How many times have you moved homes in your life?

I was raised in a small town in Saskatchewan. When I was 3.5 years old, we moved to a different house in the same town. At the age of 18, I left my small town for another small town in order to attend Bible College. If you consider a dorm at college a home, (which I do), that would have been my next move. I then moved away from college to a neighboring province (west) to work for the summer. I moved back to Bible College in fall. When that school year was over, I moved to my original home again for summer to work in the area, and then moved to the city where I lived in my very first apartment while I attended Business College. Then I changed homes again when I returned for another year of Bible College, where I lived in-dorm for 8 months; Following that, I moved to a Bible camp in my own province to work for the summer. Then I moved back to the Bible College again, where I lived in-dorm and worked as an Assistant Dean. When that school year was over, I moved to a different province again (this time east) to work at a Bible Camp for the summer. Then I moved back to the city again, where I was for 2 years; then I married and changed locations within the same city. Then we bought a house in a small town--lived there for a whopping 8 years and then moved to where we currently live today. We've been here for 3.5 years and I have absolutely no intention of moving again in my lifetime if I don't have to.

So, to answer the original question: I have moved 15 times in my lifetime. Wow. That's a lot. Or maybe not.

Salad
How old were you when you had your very first kiss?

As embarassing as this may be for some people, I am pleased to report that I did not receive my first kiss until December of 1992, which means I was 20 years old. My next kiss came some time later, when I met my now-husband, and yes, the rest is history. In retrospect, I wish the kiss at age 20 had never happened. Wouldn't it be so cool to tell my kids and grandkids that I've only kissed their dad/grandpa? Yes, it would have been cool. But obviously I won't be able to tell them that without lying, so I won't.

That was a strange question to answer.

Moving on.

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel your best?

This is an easy question for me to answer--the morning. However, this past week I've been feeling like throwing-up in the morning. And no, I don't suspect this is morning sickness. If it is . . . oh boy.

Dessert
Using three words or less, describe your current local weather.

Calm, cool and collected. And when I say cool . . . it's a pleasantly cool summer evening here on the Saskatchewan prairies. If only the mosquitoes would vacate, everything would be perfect.

*I'm actually writing this post Sunday evening, not Friday evening. I started working on the Friday's Feast Post Friday but ran out of time to finish it, so for Dessert, you're getting an answer regarding the actual weather right at this moment. I can't even remember what the weather was like on Friday evening.

Battlefield

2010-07-06T09:46:00.000-06:00

Ever since I've been off work, which was officially June 29th, I've had plans to improve my physical surroundings by way of cleaning and tidying up my house (very thoroughly) but it just hasn't happened the way I planned it. Normally I'm pretty good with time management and organizing my day in such a way that I can accomplish my goals. But it just seems that as soon as I'm on a roll, a distraction comes my way, or there is some activity previously planned that is taking me away from the house and, well, my list of excuses could go on and on. I am extremely frustrated by all of this and I seriously want some sanity back, which, in my mind, will come by way of a neat and orderly house.

However, that is going to be virtually impossible due to the fact that we still have flooring that needs to be installed. This flooring is sitting in, around, and on my dining room floor and table. The furniture isn't where it should be. The laundry has now been folded and I plan to put it away today. I know that will help matters. And the boys cleaned up most of their toys yesterday, which will help, but in all honesty I look around me and feel so overwhelmed.

Some days I wish I were a genie and I could just fold my arms neatly one over the other, blink, and have my house spotless. But, that's not going to happen. I just have to get to work. This week is Vacation Bible School at our church in the evening, which I'm helping at, and with travel time and VBS time combined, I am missing out on 5 hours of time each evening where I would be at home otherwise. Don't get me wrong. I want to help at VBS and I want my boys to attend it. I just wish I could somehow squeeze in those lost 5 hours elsewhere without losing sleep.

Perhaps by the end of summer I'll have accomplished my goal for week 1 of holidays. How pathetic is that?

Friday's Feast #58

2010-07-02T10:06:00.001-06:00

Appetizer
Briefly describe your living room.

Currently, my living room is in a state of chaos. The couch and two of my three chairs are located where they should be. However, the coffee table isn't quite in line with the couch. My end tables are nowhere in their correct locations . . . not to mention, these three items are VERY dusty. My piano is perfectly placed into its little "alcove" . . . the rest of the room is full of laminate floor that needs to be laid down in the remainder of the house; my husband has tools (somewhat neatly) placed in the room; there is laundry scattered and/or folded everywhere and there are toys in places they shouldn't be.

If this question is supposed to answer what my decor is like (i.e. color of fabrics, walls, etc.) then I can only tell you this: The walls are recently painted. The color is champagne glass, which is a really soft pink. The floors, also newly installed, are a wide-planked walnut laminate; the couch and one chair has floral upholstery. I also have a pink chair (which I loathe and would love to replace with something more modern) as well as a wooden rocking chair. My coffee tables and end tables are glass-topped with antique brass-looking curvy legs.

Soup
List 3 things you'd like to accomplish before the end of 2010.

1. Install flooring in the remainder of the main floor of our house;
2. Paint every bedroom in the house (there are 3);
3. Start a cake-decorating business. I'm going out on a limb here, people; this is not likely to happen.

Salad
When you're online, what do you spend the most time reading/playing/doing?

Most of my time online is spent at one of four places: my bank's website, my employer's website, my blog or Facebook.

Main Course
What would the title of your autobiography be?

Imperfect

Dessert
What time do you usually go to bed?

Never early enough--usually around midnight, which is beginning to be TOO late! Last night I opted to skip fireworks for Canada Day because I was too tired. I was in bed by 10:30 p.m. My new goal is to be sleeping by 11:00 p.m. We'll see how that goes!

Fighting Back Tears

2010-06-28T14:24:00.002-06:00

I've been fighting back tears all morning . . . I'll tell you why later.

Kimmy, Kimmy, Quite Contrary, How Does Your Garden Grow?

2010-06-25T18:23:00.002-06:00

My straw bale garden is coming along quite well . . . at least better than my "regular" gardens ever did, so that makes me happy!

We've had LOTS of rain here the last few weeks, which has alleviated a lot of my responsibility to these bales for keeping them wet. I think the rain has helped a lot.

This is not part of my straw bale garden, but I just wanted to show you all how HUGE my rhubarb has grown this year. It's never been so big. I think it's because of all the rain we've had.

Herbs

Celery

Tomatoes

Peppers

Cucumbers

Peas

More peas

I forgot to take pictures of the melons and pumpkins growing out of the sides of the bales. They're coming along as well . . . just like I had hoped!

My Attempt at Straw Bale Gardening

2010-06-11T16:02:00.004-06:00

*WARNING: Extremely long post ahead. Some of you have been asking for this info--here it is!

So, call us crazy, but we are attempting something new this year by way of gardening. We had originally decided that there would be NO garden this year, simply because weeds have overtaken the area, and we felt we should take a year to "spray" them away so that next year we could have more success with our garden. However, one day while I was on Facebook, a mini-ad popped up, with a brief description about something called Straw Bale Gardening . . . well, curiosity got the better of me, and, while I didn't buy the book that the ad was wanting me to purchase, I decided to do some on-line research on this phenomenon of straw bale gardening.

The appeal to me was this:

1. Very little weeding involved . . . possibly NO weeding involved. And for those of you who know me, weeding my garden is a problem for me. I don't do it. Therefore, my garden turns into a big garden of weeds instead of vegetables. That is what my garden has basically consisted of for the past two years: weeds. But a garden with no weeds? That immediately grabbed my attention!

2. Less bending down to tend to your garden. I'm not that old. Yet. However, I can see the benefit of this concept as well. Why bend over or down if you don't have to?

3. The use of bales. Back in fall I suggested to my husband that we should make Pepper, our outside dog, a straw bale house for the winter. We required about 25 square, straw bales . . . someone he works with happens to be one of the few farmers around here that produces square bales, so we bought about 25 bales for $25.00. We built Pepper her "house", and guess what? She never used it. Come spring, she decided to start destroying her "house" and now we have straw all over the yard! It's hard to get rid of! She actually only destroyed one bale, so we had lots left to work with. Some have been turned into the backstop for an archery/shooting range . . . the rest have become mine to do with as I please. And, well, I pleased to turn them into a garden.

4. Decomposing bales are apparently going to be good for the garden soil next year. This is great news for us, because our garden's soil isn't the greatest. Now we'll have a way to re-build our existing garden, using the composted bales and try to turn our garden soil into something that might be more productive.

5. Higher yields. Apparently straw bale gardens are fantastic at providing optimum growing conditions, thereby producing higher yields. Of course that is appealing to me as well. But, the jury is still out on that one.

Now, on with my pictures. Before I go on, I must advise that if you really want to try this out for yourself, you should Google the topic first, because as of yet I have no proven results or my own success story. This is just an experiment of sorts.
*I'll talk about the straw potatoes at the end of the post.

STRAW BALE GARDEN

Step 1 is to line up your bales into whatever formation you wish to create. I wasn't a participant in this, so Wayne decided to line them up in a straight line, almost smack-bang in the middle of our garden plot.

Step 2 is to water them for about 10 days . . . we used a soaker hose that ran for about an hour a day for 10 days. Unfortunately, our hose clogged up from rust in our water . . . we have a high iron content and the water in our hose comes directly out of our well; I eventually resorted to watering each bale with a hose by hand, which, of course, took much longer. I soaked them until water was seeping out the sides and out the bottom. Notice that the bale is turned in such a way so that the "planting side" (top) is the area on the bale that is loose. This part is so hard to explain . . . hopefully you'll understand what I mean when you look at my picture above.

Step 3 is fertilizing. Basically, what this whole process is about is "cooking" your bales so that they begin to compost inside--very quickly. I used a Miracle Grow Slow-Release 10-10-10 fertilizer. If you look closely, you can see the little green fertilizer pellets in the picture above . . . the pellets have been working their way into the bales for several weeks now. I sprinkled the fertilizer on top of the bales on day 11 of the preparation process. Since then I have also watered the bales with a Miracle Grow that dissolves in water . . . I did this on about day 13 because I was paranoid that the slow-release stuff wasn't going to work. Then Wayne informed me that over-fertilizing isn't such a great idea. Oh well. Hopefully it won't have been too detrimental to the process.

Step 4 is planting. I covered each bale with about 2 inches of potting soil . . . there are specific details on what the make-up of this soil should be, but I didn't really pay much attention to that. I just bought potting soil that included compost. Once you have the soil spread out, you can plant your seeds directly into the soil and follow that with water on each bale. What I remember from other websites that keeps playing over in my mind is, "Keep your bales wet. There is no exact science to this. Just keep your bales wet." So, that's what I've been doing. And with the tremendous amount of rain we've had lately, I haven't even had to water daily like I would if it were scorching hot outside. What I planted in the soil was peas, cucumbers and various herbs. You cannot plant "tubers" into bales (vegetables like carrots, onions, etc.). Also, corn is too heavy for bales to handle, so I would not advise planting corn.

You can plant things in the sides of the bales as well. This, I found more difficult to do. In reality, I should have placed each see into a hole that I kind of dug out with my trowel . . . placed my seed into the hole and covered it with soil. The covering with soil was the tricky part. So, guess what? Only three bales were planted properly . . . in the others, I just made my hole, stuck in my seed and watered the bale. I'm not sure how that's going to work out for me, but only time will tell. What I planted on the outside of the bales were things that grow vines . . . watermelon, pumpkins and cantaloupe. I'm hoping they will spread out and cover a large area beside the bales so that I don't have to weed there.

Something else I've seen done is planting flowers in the sides of the bales . . . this makes the bales look more attractive, but I didn't really want to spend $100 on annuals just to decorate my bales. Perhaps if they were in my front yard or deck I might have considered doing that.

Peppers

Instead of seeds, you can also plant vegetable seedlings that have already begun to grow. This was, by far, the easiest part of this whole process. Tomatoes, peppers and celery were planted into several of the bales.

Tomatoes

For these plants, you just insert your trowel to open up a "hole" in the bale, insert your seedling, which is already in soil and has rooted, and stick it into the bale. Push the hole back into place and it's a done deal. I did add more potting soil around each plant, but that's only because I had extra potting soil left over from when I planted my seeds.

Celery

I've had success with celery in my regular garden; I'm hoping it will fare as well in the bales.

STRAW POTATOES

For my potato patch I needed way more straw . . . so Wayne went in search of a large round bale; one of our neighbors was generous enough to give us one, which was fantastic! These bales are huge and I have no idea how expensive they are . . . we were just so grateful for this great free bale. The boys have had fun playing on it too, and they could hardly wait to "destroy" the bale for our potato patch.

The appeal of straw potatoes for me was, once again, based on the fact that straw helps to keep weeds from erupting all over your vegetable patch, including your potato patch. The other thing, which I think is going to be so cool (that is, if this really works for us), is that straw potatoes come out clean when you harvest them. They do not grow in the ground so therefore they are not covered in dirt. Also, you can "rob" plants as soon as the potatoes begin to grow, eating them and harvesting them when they are different sizes.

So, here's what you do: Get your seed potatoes ready for planting. You can cut them . . . this will give you more plants, or, what we did this year was plant them whole. I've never planted a whole seed potato before, but Wayne assures me that they will still grow even if they haven't been cut. As long as they have eyes they will attempt to grow.

We placed our seed potatoes randomly on the ground, but you could arrange them into neat and tidy rows if you wanted to. Each potato was then covered in about 6 inches of straw. As soon as the potato plant begins to peek through the straw, more straw will be added. This process will continue until the plants begin to bloom. Apparently you can start looking for potatoes under your straw as soon as you see blooms, but they are definitely ready once the plant dries up (similar to how you know if you plant them directly into the ground).

One other recommendation for this is to place straw over your entire potato patch, but we have not done this yet, simply because I want to wait until the plants have "popped up" and I can see where they are. I will likely place more straw around the bales (to prevent weeds and create a softer gardening area) in a few weeks.

One last thing about this type of potato crop . . . after the initial watering (I watered each mound of straw lightly right after planting), you shouldn't have to water again, unless you have an extremely dry summer. That is not the case here . . . it has been raining for weeks!

So, there you have it! Perhaps some of the details I have provided regarding straw bale gardening are a bit unclear--I was just writing what I could remember from my own research. I would advise that if you are serious about trying either of these methods, do your own research before you begin the process.

I'll keep you posted on how things are progressing. So far none of my seedlings have died (tomatoes, celery and peppers) and I actually have cucumbers, peas and herbs sprouting up from the bale. Once the peas get large enough, I'll create something for the vines to climb on. The other vegetables should be able to "hang over" the edge of the bales as they grow. I'm not sure about the tomatoes; I may have to get cages for them. Only time will tell.

One more thing you should know about this, if you do try a straw bale garden . . . grass likes to grow out the top of bales, so if you don't like that part of it, the grass needs to be trimmed with a scissor. I have yet to do this, but I think I will be as soon as the weather turns sunny! Also, a sign that your bales are doing what they're supposed to is the growth of mushrooms out of the tops of the bales. At first I freaked when I saw all the mushrooms growing from my bales, but after researching what I thought was a problem, mushrooms growing turned out to be a good sign. Maybe I am doing something right!

Cakes

2010-06-09T19:17:00.010-06:00

Here are some of my recent cake creations . . .

Baby Dress Cakes for a twin girls' baby shower

(above 3 photos)

Ty's Birthday Cake . . . #9 in Basketballs
(above 2 photos)

Nine

2010-06-05T00:01:00.004-06:00

(double-click to see larger images)

Ty's family birthday party was held last Sunday together with my nephew, Derek, who turned 21! His birthday is May 31st, so we usually celebrate the two birthdays together. I didn't make the cake this time . . . it was a Dairy Queen ice cream cake!

Happy Birthday, Ty!

I love you.
~Mommy~

What Have I Done Wrong?

2010-06-04T20:53:00.001-06:00

Do you moms out there ever get the feeling that you are failing miserably as a mother? I do. And I'm in that state right now.

This is Ty's birthday weekend and he has a school friend over for night tonight. He and his friend returned from one of their year-end field trips late this afternoon; they are both running on little sleep. And so is Mitchell. The fatigue and adrenaline drain (from the trip) combined with a big brother is turning out to be a recipe for disaster. At the moment, the house is relatively quiet. They all seem to be getting along. But about 2 hours ago I thought I was going to have to take the friend home due to issues that the three of them were having with each other. Seriously, I was ready to pull my hair out.

It is times like this that I wonder why I ever thought I could be a mother and impact my children for the betterment of God's kingdom. In the near-presence of WWIII a couple of hours ago, I wonder why everything I've taught them about treating each other kindly, setting an example for others to follow, being respectful and loving towards each other, seems to have gone in one ear and out the other. And honestly, I've been "training them up" in this way for years--nine and almost eleven years, to be precise. But it doesn't seem to be working. I tend to analyze my parenting during these times and I have come to the conclusion that I/We have done something horribly wrong with these two boys.

I am tired of the fighting. I am tired of the threats and the intent to harm. I am tired of refereeing what seems like constant fighting . . . Can I please run away?

Overwhelmed . . . Again!

2010-06-03T13:10:00.005-06:00

This time I am overwhelmed by the goodness and blessings that God has poured out on myself as well as my family.

I still have a job to return to in fall! I can't believe that I just wrote that. I am truly blessed.

While I won't be in the school that my boys attend, I will be working in a school consisting of approximately 27 students in grades K - 9. I will still work only 15 hours per week (which is 50% for an E.A. in our school division), but it won't be every day for 3 hours like it was this past year. The principal is willing to provide flexibility in scheduling, which is HUGE to me, because that means I can still be a substitute E.A. or substitute Administrative Assistant for FULL days at my current school on the days that I'm not working full days at the Colony. The Colony? Yes, I'll be working at a Hutterite Colony School, about 25 minutes from our home. It's out in the middle of nowhere really, but I pass by it whenever I go to visit my parent's house. Ever since I began my work as an E.A. I've secretly wanted to hold a position at a Colony School, but the opportunity never presented itself until now; so, here I am, several years later, fulfilling a secret dream that I never thought would come true.

My transfer was just confirmed this morning, and while I knew something was possibly in the works, I didn't know quite what it was. Until yesterday. And then it all came in a flood of information and decision-making, which involved a tonne of prayer on my part. And guess what? God answered, exactly like I had hoped He would! Again, I say I am overwhelmed by the blessings of my heavenly Father.

I know the year ahead is full of change, but I am looking forward to something different and new. Given the fact that the lay-off from my current school was very final, with no possibility to change the outcome, I couldn't have asked for a better outcome than the one that has been laid out before me. I'll keep you posted on how it all turns out, but I am so relieved to know that I have a job to return to at the end of August, just in time for my 38th (gulp!) birthday. Happy Birthday to me!

Why I Have a Peaceful Heart

2010-06-02T22:55:00.002-06:00

Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help;

I'm fearless no matter what.

Who or what can get to me?

~Hebrews 13:6 (The Message)~

Anyone? Anyone?

2010-05-31T22:06:00.000-06:00

Does anybody even ready this thing anymore? I'm beginning to think that there is only a handful of you who do . . . and I appreciate it. But seriously, maybe I should shut this blog down.

Guess What? I'm just going to write and forget about everything else that needs to be done around here . . .

2010-05-28T23:22:00.001-06:00

I am overwhelmed!

Let me explain why.

1. I have brand new, amazing walnut-colored laminate floor in my living/dining room area, thanks to my wonderful husband who has spent many hours doing the install on his own. It's been a relatively slow process, as he has just been working at it a few boards at a time whenever he has a spare moment. He is hoping to start and finish the kitchen area tomorrow, but he pulled/strained a muscle in his back yesterday and he's not too sure how well his back will be feeling tomorrow. Installing laminate floor is hard on a body . . . or so he tells me!

2. As a result of this recent renovation project . . . yes, you guessed right, I'm sure . . . my house is in a state of chaos! And this Sunday I am hosting a family birthday party for my son Ty and my older nephew (they share birthdays only a week or so apart); plus, I've got two extra kids here this weekend and if I haven't already mentioned it, my house is in a state of chaos. Oh yeah. I did mention that. But it seems like I'm always mentioning that. Maybe that's just the new Kimmy. Messy, Chaotic Kimmy! Well, the house will be what it's going to be and there's not much I can do about it. Sorry, family!

3. It has been raining. And raining. And raining. As a result, I have not yet planted my straw bale garden, nor planted my straw potatoes. If we don't get some sunshine soon, I'm not sure that I'll have any produce at the end of summer, which is par for the course around here, but this year I was hoping it was going to be different, given the fact that I am trying out a new type of gardening. I will post separately about my straw bale garden later; that is, if I ever get it completed! The bales do require moisture in order to grow things, but really, this is getting ridiculous!

4. On to something more exciting . . . my son, Mitchell, performed in his final band concert of the year this past Wednesday. The band consists of students from approximately 6 surrounding area schools, and he was awarded the Most Outstanding Woodwind Award for a beginner band student in those schools. Despite my efforts to try to discourage him from continuing on in band next year (due to the fact that he doesn't practice!), I think my efforts to do so are futile. They were probably futile all along, but now that he's won this award he wants to continue in band more now than ever before. However, he has decided that he will deviate from the flute half-way through next year and switch to the saxophone. Apparently the fingering is the same for both instruments, so the transition should be pretty easy for him. In any case, his dad and I are very proud of him. Who knew we'd have a flutist in our family?

5. I am getting excited over ministry opportunities that I'm currently involved in. I mentioned a while back that I am part of a BOOK Club at our church . . . it's a club for women that encourages daily Bible reading. Provided that we have enough newcomers to the group in fall, I will be leading a group of women in one of these Clubs! The leader approached me several months ago and asked me to pray about this opportunity and it didn't take long for me to agree to help. I've also had the opportunity to develop a blog devoted to our BOOK Clubs and it's been so cool to watch that all unfold. I have also recently begun to mentor a younger mom in our church. Another ministry that I am fully devoted to is something called The Bridge, which is group consisting of grade 5 and 6 students (mostly from our church) who meet together once a month for socializing and a fun activity. We had our wind-up for the 2009-2010 year tonight and I am looking forward to what next year holds. Since Mitchell will be in grade 6 next year, it will be his last year in this program, but then Ty gets to attend for two years; so, it looks like I've got three more years to help out with this ministry. My current role is that of Coordinator, so I kind of get to oversee everything. It feels like a daunting task, but yet I have such a passion for it that I am encouraged and energized all at once by having the opportunity to be involved in the lives of these kids.

6. Now the sad news, which has left me sobbing inside. I received word this week that effective June 30th, I will no longer have a job at our school. Due to government funding cut-backs, my profession is receiving a huge downsize in our province. Cuts to individual schools were made based on seniority, and since I was the last one hired at our school, I was the first to go. One other colleague has also lost her job. More jobs may be cut down the road. It is very sad. The students who need the extra help are the ones who will suffer as a result of this government decision.

I do have some seniority over other E.A.s in a neighboring community, but even that idea (of exercising my seniority so that I can be transferred to a different school) doesn't look too promising. Hopefully next week I'll have some answers to that dilemma.

I say dilemma because that is really, truly what I face right now. I LOVE my job. And I mean LOVE it. I have never had a job that I am so passionate about. I never dread going to work. I like the people I work with. I feel valued and needed where I work. I have never received so much personal satisfaction from a job. Ever. Which is why it grieves me so much to lose my job. Before this, I had never been laid-off from a job. The job cut was not personal. It was a numbers game and I had the wrong number. But I feel like some part of me has been lost as a result of my losing my job. It's a hard feeling to explain. I just wish I didn't feel this way. I feel lost. I do not know where to go from here and it's very unsettling.

Along with the stress of losing my job, I just found out that I will be short 22.5 hours to qualify for Employment Insurance after my job officially ends. Because I received a significant reduction in hours last year, I have not accumulated the 665 hours I need in order to get E.I. And the crazy thing is, I have "donated" time in excess of 22.5 hours to the school by staying late, arriving early, attending meetings and workshops, etc. But those are not insurable hours and insurable hours is what the government requires me to prove. Poor me.

Despite everything I have said regarding my job loss, I do know that God is in control and He must have a different plan for my life. I just don't know how or why that plan does not include my going to work where I do right now. The only other thing I know I would enjoy doing at this time in my life is baking and decorating cakes, and sewing baby receiving blankets and burp cloths. I don't know how that's going to be replacement income. But if I had a choice, and being an E.A. were not an option, that's what I'd choose to do. Bake and sew for profit.

7. Well, if you've made it this far . . . CONGRATULATIONS! This was a very long post, which could have been expanded into seven smaller posts, but you know me--I kind of enjoy getting off on a tangent every now and then. So, thanks for reading. And please keep me in your prayers as I seek God's will regarding my employment status.

There's A Lot Going On . . .

2010-05-26T23:52:00.002-06:00

. . . but you'll have to wait until next week for details.

Lucky 13!

2010-05-17T12:44:00.001-06:00

I don't believe in luck. But today is a special day and I had to make a catchy title for my post.

It is mine and Wayne's 13th Wedding Anniversary today! Just over half-way to 25! Amazing!

The Beauty of a Woman

2010-05-15T18:52:00.001-06:00

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.

"The Beauty of a Woman" was written by Sam Levinson. Thanks to my blogging friend, E-Mom for sharing these beautiful words with her readers on Mother's Day.

Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-11T16:41:00.012-06:00

What did I do on Mother's Day? My day consisted of church in the morning, followed by lunch out at my favorite family restaurant, running a few errands and returning home to spend the rest of the day with my sister Tammy, her husband, and two of their kids. For supper? Vern's Pizza, salads and ice cream sundaes. Yep, I opted out of all major preparations. We didn't even use real plates. My gift? A family ring, which I've been hinting at for a long time! In case you're wondering, yes, I picked it out. I've got a thing for hearts! It was a pretty great day!

Seeking

2010-04-28T23:21:00.001-06:00

Seek beauty and miss love.

Seek love and find both.

Shining Light

2010-04-27T12:52:00.000-06:00

Every day on the way to school, the boys and I pray together. My prayer is pretty consistently the same, with the addition of a few changes depending on what's going on that day. But I always pray that we will all be a bright light shining in a dark world . . . that others will see a difference in us by the way we act, what we say, etc. etc.

Today Ty's teacher shared with me how much she enjoys having Ty in her class and how his beaming smile at the front of the room always brightens her day. She told me he's always smiling, cooperative and on-task. I felt so encouraged by her words today. It gives me hope.

I am so thankful for the "shining lights" in my life, and more specifically, my children. The blessing of children goes beyond anything I could have imagined. My heart is so wrapped up in each one of them and sometimes that hurts . . . especially when I see one of them choosing to take the wide path, not the narrow one. But I serve a miracle-performing God and that is the hope I cling to as I try to make sense of the choices my stepson is making. It's hard. And it seems that it is only geting harder by the minute. For any parents reading this with children on the straight-and-narrow path, NEVER take that for granted. THANK GOD that their eternal future is secure.

I know I have not spoken of my stepson for quite some time. In fact, I think my RAD blog hasn't been updated for almost two years. Maybe I'll have to go post a little update there one-of-these-days.