Thursday, February 28, 2008

Darkness

I cannot even begin to explain the darkness I feel right now.

Please pray for me. That's all I can say. I need your prayers. God knows what you're praying about.

I can't write coherently right now so that's all I'm going to share at this point. Once I'm able to express my thoughts and feelings more effectively, I'll let you know what this is all about.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Meeting Sydrah

I finally got to meet my Great-Niece,
Sydrah Elizabeth!
She is a doll . . .


Here's Sydrah with her parents, Mykal and Matt

Here I am with my sisters and mom . . . being goofy!
back, from l to r: Holly, Lovella
front, from l to r: Tammy, Me, My Mom (Elizabeth),
Connie (Sydrah's Grandma)


Here we are again in a more subdued form . . .

My niece, Kendra ~ Sydrah's Auntie

Sydrah Elizabeth . . . almost 1 month old!

Sydrah and I

I loved my time with Sydrah!

I love being a "Great" Auntie . . .

Angelic Sydrah

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

COUNTDOWN TO HOLD & CUDDLE THIS BEAUTY:

3 MORE SLEEPS!



I get to meet my great niece, Sydrah, face-to-face THIS SATURDAY! I can hardly wait!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Is It Friday, Yet?

Or better yet . . . Saturday?

Yesterday was a holiday here in my wonderful province. Family Day. What did we do as a family? Well, Ty went to visit his best friend, which was supposed to be for sleepover (his first sleepover ever away from home aside from Grandma's house), but it turned out to be just a 10-hour visit, because once evening arrived he no longer wanted to sleep over. I baked four kinds of muffins. Wayne, despite the fact that he's getting over a crazy flu/cold-like illness, took Mitchell out to the machine shop to work on a "project". Wayne, Mitchell and I played 3 board games throughout the day, and that basically sums up our Family Day.

On Friday I had a little mishap with my car on the way to work. It was either I hit the ditch or I hit the oncoming truck; I opted for the ditch. But that resulted in a 4-hour wait for a tow-truck, a 1-hour wait to get out, and then the disappointment that my car wouldn't start after it had been in the ditch all morning. Fortunately, I was able to start the car again about an hour after it had been towed home. However, by that time it was too late to go into work. And . . . today after work, my car wouldn't start.

I prayed over my car. But nothing happened.

So, I called my Home & Auto Insurance Co. and requested yet another tow. This time I only waited 30 minutes for the tow, and I got to return to the office to keep working while I waited for the tow truck to arrive. Wayne had to pack up the boys (they're on holidays this week . . . he's working the evening shift), and come get me, since I was kind of stranded in the city. As a result, he was an hour late for work. And he already missed a day last week due to his illness. And when he misses work it affects us. Greatly. He us usually able to make-up the time before the end of the month, but I'm not sure if he's going to be able to do it this time around.

The mechanic was able to look at our car this afternoon and then delivered the bad news. My car needs a new starter, and another repair. The engine oil level was dangerously low (however, no warning lights on the car had gone on yet, so I had no clue about this), and this was caused by something to do with the crankshaft on the front seal ??? I'm not exactly sure what all the mechanical jargon is, exactly. All I know is it amounts to one thing: $600. That's $600 that we don't have right now. We are currently in a financial bind. What else is new? I'm hoping that once we get our income tax refund all will be well again. However, this vehicle repair is really, really going to set us back. And to be honest, I'm not even sure where we're going to come up with the funds to pay for it. Until Wayne gets home from work and we discuss this whole matter, I've put the mechanic off and have advised him to wait to hear back from me before he proceeds to fix the car.

Our car is 10 years old and nearing the 300,000 km mark. In the last year, things have really started to go. And we're just not certain whether or not we want to keep putting money into something that keeps breaking. Our other option is to consider purchasing something else. That prospect scares me, simply because of the financial side of things. I feel like we're in a no-win situation here and so I've been spending this evening in prayer, seeking God's direction on this.

I am trying to trust God to meet our needs. And in the past, He's always come through. But from a human perspective, I look at our heap of bills, add the vehicle repair expense to the heap and wonder if we'll ever make it.

Please pray for us as we sort out this mess.

P.S. This whole ordeal with the car came after a day of challenges at work. I felt like I was being personally attacked, when the issues at hand were not a result of anything I did. My emotional state was already at a low prior to this whole car thing happening. I feel really discouraged.


Sunday, February 17, 2008

New RAD Post

For those of you who are readers of my other blog, My Life is RADical, I have posted something new. Check it out by linking to My Other Blog on the sidebar.

For those of you who would like to read about my life as the mom of a child with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), e-mail me and let me know of your interest and I'll get you set up.

If you are not a reader of my other blog, all I can say is please pray for my stepson. Thanks.

On Being Yellow

Ever since I posted about what "color" I am, I've been bothered by the results. I guess I feel like the description of a "Yellow" person isn't always the way I am, even though I'd love to be that inviting all the time. To be honest, I'm not. And for anyone who has been a regular reader of my blog over the past year, you'll know that there's a side of me that's not so SUN-SHINEY.

In an attempt to try the test again, this time answering some of the questions where an answer could have been one of two the first time I took the test, I opted to enter the "other" answer and ended up being "ORANGE". Which makes my persona even more attractive than "Yellow". To me, the "Orange" definition was even more appealing than the yellow definition, but I have chosen not to post the "Orange" results. Simply because I want to remain in a realistic state of mind. "Orange" was just too good to be true.

But I've been thinking about this color test over the last several days and have concluded that, perhaps, in a setting aside from my real-life home-life, people
do perceive me to be "Yellow". After posting my "color" results, I received two comments from fellow bloggers. The first "Blue" friend said she wasn't surprised that I was a "Yellow" person. And the second friend, who is also a "Yellow", confirmed my suspicions about her being "Yellow" as well; because to me, SHE IS YELLOW. Her blog is full of Yellow-ness all the time. I admire her for that and I wish I were more like her (even though we've never met face-to-face, she's just very appealing to me). You'll have to check out my comments to find out how to link back to my lovely "Blue" friend and my lovely "Yellow" friend.

I was thinking back to times in my life where people have indicated that I'm "Yellow" to them. Not that they used that color to describe me, but their description of me was that of a "Yellow" person. This baffles me, because I don't really view
myself as being "Yellow". Maybe I should. Then maybe, just maybe, I'd bring more "Yellow" into the "real" world. After all, every husband and child could use a little more sunshine in their day, right?


Thursday, February 14, 2008

A Bright Ray of Sunshine . . . Most Days I Guess

What's Your True Color?

Kimmy's Result: Yellow




You're yellow, the color of joy and energy — two things you definitely bring to everyone around you. It's hard for anyone to be sad or lonely in your presence; your sunny disposition and cheery outlook just won't allow it. The warmth of your personality shines through in the kindness you show friends and family (and strangers, too). Always ready with a lighthearted joke or heartfelt compliment, you know how to make people feel good about themselves, so they can't get enough of you. Yellow is a warm and inviting color for a warm and inviting person — you!


What color are you?
To find out, click here.


A Valentine Meme

Antique Valentine
Before I answer the meme, I've got to tell you what I spent all last evening doing, in preparation for Valentine's Day. I baked. For a Valentine's supper my men want sloppy joes on homemade buns. So, I made buns. Mitchell wanted banana chocolate chip muffins for his Valentine breakfast. So I made him banana chocolate chip muffins. Ty and Wayne wanted a banana cake. So, I made them a banana cake. And this morning they'll all awaken to some Valentine treats and sweets for later in the day. I love showing love to my Valentines. They are so sweet! And isn't there a saying that goes something like, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." So true in this household!


Now, for the meme. I got this from Stacey, who got it from Martie.


Couples

How long have you been together?
We met for the first time on April 18, 1996.

How long did you date?
Well, we started dating about two months after we met; we were engaged two months after that; and we were married nine months after that (way too long of a wait!). So, from the time we met for the first time until we married was exactly 13 months less a day.

How old is he?
He is 39.

Who eats more?
It depends what we're eating. Sometimes him, sometimes me.

Who said "I love you" first?
I can't say for sure (how bad is that?!) but I'm pretty sure it was him.

Who is taller?
I am. He's 5 ft. 7. I'm 5 ft. 8 1/2. The funny part about that is I vowed that I would never marry someone shorter than me. But, it doesn't bother me. And it doesn't bother him. In church when I wear heels (which is often) I always feel like I'm towering over him and think how funny we must look together.

Who is smarter?
I had a higher average in high school. But that's just because he didn't apply himself. His I.Q. is higher than mine, but we both have our areas of strength. We're both smart. Ha! Ha!

Who does the laundry?
Always me. And the washing machine and dryer.

Who does the dishes?
Always me. And the dishwasher.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
I do. (That is if you are lying down, looking from the head of the bed. If you were looking from the bed at the foot end, it's him. I hope this makes sense.)

Who pays the bills?
I pay them. However, he makes more money. So, in a way, he pays them.

Who mows the lawn?
He does.

Who cooks dinner?
Me, of course.

Who is more stubborn?
We both are.

Who kissed who first?
We both did. It's kind of a "together" thing.

Who asked who out?
He did. Our first official date was to the drive-in movie theater. We watched
Twister and Mission: Impossible!

Who proposed?
He did.

Who is more sensitive?
I am.

Who has more friends?
Again, me. I thrive on friendships. He's happy to just have one or two friends that he sees occasionally throughout the year.

Who has more siblings?
He has 10 brothers and sisters. I have 5.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Okay. Who Are You And What Have You Done With My Son?

I call it a miracle because I don't know what else to call it. God is hearing prayers being sent up on behalf of Mitchell. Since the meeting with the teacher, Mitchell has. had. no. homework. None. Nada. Zilch. He hasn't missed gym or computers, which is what was going to happen if his chatting kept up at the pace it was. He's been told once this week to cut the chatter. I'd say that's a huge improvement. More than I was expecting. I was hoping that he'd cut down on the chit chat by at least half after the first week. But he's almost cut it out of his day (at inappropriate times) completely. His teacher is encouraging him. We're encouraging him. He's feeling pretty good about himself and that's good.

He seems to be a happier kid, too. I don't think any of us realized how
unhappy he was as a result of getting in trouble in school day after day for talking excessively. But now I know. Peer relationships have improved. Cooperation levels at home have improved. Fighting with his brother has lessened. (The fighting has not completely disappeared, and I'm sure it never will.) And, believe it or not, I don't feel as stressed out about things either. The domino effect of this change has been amazing.

Okay, so I know it hasn't even been a week yet. But the fact that Mitchell has been able to keep this up for
this long is a great feat in itself. I have hope for him now, which honestly, I didn't have much of last week. And Mitchell keeps telling me that he's going to just keep up with this for the rest of the year, because he realizes how much better things are at school and home when he stays focussed on his schoolwork.

I'm giving credit to God for this breakthrough. But I'm also going to put in a little plug here for something called Omega 3. This is a supplement that my doctor recommends for kids to help with brain function. I started the boys on a daily regiment of this in Fall, but the claim that it was supposed to help their attention spans and concentration levels wasn't really proven in our home. However, after last week's struggles with Mitchell, I decided to increase the dosage and see if it helped. I think it has. Don't worry . . . they are still within the recommended dosage for their age. It's just that a few months back I was giving them the minimum dosage. Now Mitchell is getting the maximum and Ty's getting somewhere in-between minimum and maximum.

But again, I truly believe God has been working in my little boy. And I thank all of you for praying for us as we've been working through this. We are grateful that (for now), the ADD/ADHD probability is on the back burner.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Mitchell's Mission

My meeting on Friday with Mitchell and his teacher resulted in some strategies for more productivity from Mitchell. He actually had a really good day on Friday (prior to the meeting), and told us that he was trying very hard all day not to talk. The teacher had taken note of this and commended him for the improvement she saw in him that day. However, I'm not holding my breath on this. One day of limited talking is a huge accomplishment for him. But I'm not sure he'll be able to do this for the remaining 97 days on the school calendar.

I don't expect him to be silent all day long. That would go against who he is. I just want him to recognize times where he is talking too much or at inappropriate times. I he can get a handle on that, I think life at school will be more manageable for everyone--him, his classmates and his teacher.



Thursday, February 7, 2008

Here We Go Again

Today after school I've got a meeting with Mitchell's teacher. Mitchell will also be in attendance at the meeting. Our goal is to work through some issues Mitchell is having in the classroom, which have infiltrated their way into home life as well.

I would really appreciate your prayers as we try to work through all of this. For my regular readers, you may recall my past concerns regarding my son. He likes to chat. A lot. And this is causing some serious frustrations for the teacher and I'm beginning to wonder if there's something more going on with him than just his love for words. Yesterday his teacher told me she's never, in all of her years of teaching (She's been teaching for a while . . . I'd say around 15 - 20 years), she's never had a student that was so verbally and socially-inclined as Mitchell is.

When I suggested to her that we've been entertaining the thought (ever-so-lightly) of home-schooling him, while she acknowledged where I was coming from with the possibility of teaching him at home, she expressed her concern for him regarding the lack of daily social activity a home-school setting would produce, causing him to potentially "shut down". I was, at least, relieved to know she wasn't trying to push the possibility of him exiting her classroom, simply because she doesn't want to teach my son for the next year-and-a-half (she'll be his teacher next year in grade 4 as well). She actually really likes him.


For those of you who've read my private blog about my experience as the stepmother to a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), you may recall that our life while my stepson lived with us was pretty much in a constant state of chaos and stress. Unfortunately, Mitchell and his younger brother also experienced this chaos and stress. As much as Wayne and I tried to "keep them out of it", in all reality, that's not possible when you share the same roof. While I'm not trying to blame our RADical experience for Mitchell's current challenges, part of me wonders if some of the side-effects of our stressful years are taking their toll on him in more ways than we realize. We've requested that Mitchell meet with the school counselor on a regular basis, in the hopes that she may be able to "expose" some of Mitchell's feelings regarding our RADical life.

I won't bore you with all the details of the conversation I had with Mitchell's teacher yesterday after school, but some of his behaviors are concerning, and as a result, his school experience is not reaching its full potential. He's beginning to develop a bit of a "reputation", you might say, which he really doesn't need. Labels given to kids are never a good thing. Living in a small community is hard enough without your child being labelled by people who don't even really know him (or us).

And in Mitchell's defense about his gift of gab . . . he got this from not only one, but both of his parents. Wayne and I both enjoy talking. A lot. So I'm thinking genetics may have something to do with this, although another part of the genetics could also be some attentional problems, which Wayne and my RAD child both experience. I've been doing some more research on ADD/ADHD and I won't be surprised if, after the meeting with the teacher, she suggests to have him tested. I'm okay with that. But it scares me. I've already lived one life with an ADHD child and I was hoping to live my next without.

But . . . this is all in God's hands and He loves Mitchell more than I do. One day at a time.


Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Clear As Mud

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God is working in me. My heart is becoming more settled over the issue(s) at hand, and for now, I believe His answer is WAIT and BE CONTENT.

I spend much of my thought life thinking about all of the "what ifs" and therefore miss out on my journey along the way in its fullest form. I'm trying to change that and just savor each moment of my time on earth.

Today during family devotions, our story was about Christ's Second Coming. The boys were both excited to consider the possibility that this might take place in their lifetime. Don't worry. I haven't given them any false hope that this is happening anytime soon, since no one knows the day or time of Christ's reeturn. But oh, how I wish it was. I can't wait to see my mansion and to spend Eternity with my beloved Saviour.

I am so thrilled to report today that the heaviness I've been feeling is lifting. Thank you all for your prayers. I'm sure they've helped me get through this valley I've been in.


Monday, February 4, 2008

Boring or Scary?

Please allow me to lament for a moment.

I know people read my blog. You see, I have this handy little tool called a "site meter" and it advises me that I get 40+ viewings of my blog per day. However, comments are lacking.

I've concluded that this is a result of one of two things. One, either what I've been posting is boring and irrelevant. Or two, what I've been posting is too scary and no one really wants to let me know what they think about what I've posted lately.

In all seriousness, I was expecting some response to my posts regarding the voice of God and seeking His direction in my life and how I'm struggling with this. Maybe I'm the only one that has had an experience like this . . . that is the conclusion I'm drawing at this point, due to the lack of feedback on current posts.

And for any of you lurkers out there, please reveal yourselves. I don't bite. I love visitors. But I like it when I know who you are. So please, leave me a comment. And if you have your own blog, I'll pay you a visit too!

UPDATE: To all of you who've left comments . . . thank you. I didn't write this post in order to solicit comments, and I know there are many times that I read posts and don't leave a comment either (sometimes I'm just "surfing" through all the blogs I like to read in a short amount of time and have no time to write a comment). I don't expect a comment just because you visit me. I guess I was just hoping for some insight or suggestions on how, through your own personal walk with the Lord, you've been able to get through times like these. That's all. So please, don't feel obligated to comment every time you read one of my posts.

This is Why I'd Love a Data Entry Job!

82 words

Touch Typing online

Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Cross We Bear

We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can't. Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain.... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall; But God's always ready, to answer your call.... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, a word from His lips, can calm every fear... Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, dawn's early light... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, to give you His grace, and send you His love...
God promises a safe landing,
not a calm passage.

*Author unknown. I received this as an e-mail from my friend, Bev. There were great pictures to go along with the words, but unfortunately, I was unable to copy and paste them to this post.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Methods

After yesterday's post not much has changed regarding my dilemma. However, after sharing with my best friend about all that's been on my heart in the last while, she reminded me of some things. Firstly, God loves me. He wants what's best for me and even if I think something is insignificant to Him, it's not. He cares. He hears my cries and He is listening. Secondly, God speaks to different people in different ways. Sometimes His voice is more audible than others. Sometimes the answer comes through the Word of God; sometimes it is obvious by the way life falls into place and it's only by God's hand and direction that life is taking a certain turn, whether good or bad; sometimes God speaks through nature and our surroundings; and sometimes it is quite possible that God uses other people to get His message across.

As I consider the possible ways God might be speaking to me right now, I feel encouraged to know that my answer will come. But sometimes God says "wait" instead of "yes" or "no". I do believe that all prayers are answered in one of the three ways that I just listed. God will answer this prayer of mine. I'm waiting on an answer and discerning all the possibilities of what He's already told me regarding the issue currently on my heart and mind. I've realized that this might take some time and I've got to learn to be more patient.